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it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE JON REPORTS IT IS “COLD AS BALLS” OUTSIDE Bluesky personality also describes weather as “colder than balls” NEW YORK – Jon Bois (@jonbois.bsky.social) released the following statement Saturday afternoon at approximately 1:30 p.m. local time: “It’s cold as balls outside today. It’s supposed to get even colder, too.” Minutes later, Bois issued a second statement: “It’s colder than balls out there. You really gotta bundle up, because it’s as cold as balls out there.” Media Contact: Jon Bois (operator, @jonbois.bsky.social Bluesky account) ###

THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, EPISODE 4: GEORGE BELL. | Secret Base Get more from Secret Base on Patreon

new video:
THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, EPISODE 4

this one's about George Bell, one of the greatest and most accomplished fighters in major league baseball history

www.patreon.com/posts/histor...

Happy new year! The newest installment of @jonbois.bsky.social's THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND is now up on Patreon -- with a reminder as we get back to work that, if you don't like your colleagues, it could always be worse

www.patreon.com/posts/histor...

THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, EPISODE 3: BRUCE KISON. | Secret Base Get more from Secret Base on Patreon

now up:
THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, EPISODE 3

this one’s about Bruce Kison, a guy i knew almost nothing about when i started this series but who ended up getting the longest episode so far

www.patreon.com/posts/histor...

YouTube video by Secret Base The dumbest guy in history | Fool Time, Part 4 of 4

FOOL TIME, part 4 of 4
"THE DUMBEST GUY IN HISTORY'
now free to watch on youtube

youtu.be/_HGk0WQF_Z4?...

a photo of wildman whitehouse with lettering above him spelling "CATASTROPHIC"

the fourth and final episode of FOOL TIME drops on youtube tomorrow. it will be wildman whitehouse's finest hour

you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you

YouTube video by Secret Base Slapstick and terror on the high seas | Fool Time, Part 3 of 4

FOOL TIME, part 3 of 4
now free to watch on youtube

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl4E...

YouTube video by Secret Base Internet troubleshooting of the 1800s | Fool Time, Part 2 of 4

FOOL TIME, part 2 of 4
now free to watch on youtube

youtu.be/WmC9fmEOwus?...

YouTube video by Secret Base The birth of the internet, according to Jon Bois

FOOL TIME, part 1 of 4
now free to watch on youtube

youtu.be/zmyBSrQodnI?...

MIKE SWEENEY VS. JEFF WEAVER: THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, EPISODE 2. | Secret Base Get more from Secret Base on Patreon

here is THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND, episode 2:
mike sweeney vs. jeff weaver. this story involves jim caviezel, steve wilkos, extreme passive-aggressiveness, some solid ground-and-pound, a cheap shot, and eventual crying www.patreon.com/posts/mike-s...

on monday, Jon will spend nearly 30 minutes relitigating a quarter-century old disagreement concerning a bag lying on the ground. here’s what he thinks about that

thumbnail for Episode 2 of The History of Charging the Mound, about the fight between Mike Sweeney and Jeff Weaver on 8/10/2001

dropping next monday on the patreon (28 minutes)

Back in the nest, our protagonist is recounting her adventure to her siblings "... and then the giant bird made a great sound..." She throws her head back and yells "OINK!" then quickly says to herself "wait, that can't be right." Her siblings say "that's a pretty cool story sis" "yeah". And quietly confer with each other "Should we...?" "Yeah alright" and ask Fledgling "How would you like to join our SECRET CLUB?" "How do have a secret club? We share the same... everything!" she replies. "It's pretty new" they say "yeah, so don't tell anyone!" "Yeah don't tell mom!" Fledgling agrees "She'd be like: 'oh, I don't know about that...'" The siblings respond "Haha!" "That's really good!" All erupt into gleeful laughter as we leave the chicks in their nest in a happy ending, and why would anyone expect otherwise from your friendly bird comics creator, Mr. False Knees. The End.

Fledgling (14/14)

Mama bird appears behind Fledgling "There you are!" she says, "all your down fell off... are you ok?". The chick has a thousand-yard stare and asks "mom... am I... food?". Mama bird responds "Aw, you're not to me" and to distract, asks "do you want some bug mush?" Fledgling emphatically replies "YAH"

Fledgling (13/14)

Fledgling looks on as its saviour walks away. We see the same white and black cat from earlier descending a tree trunk. The goose lets out a big 'HONK!' and the cat disappears in a cloud of smoke. Fledgling, bemused, says "Haha! Honk..." and then opens her eyes wide "Did I almost die"

Fledgling (12/14)

Through Fledgling's half-opened eyes, we see the side of the goose's head with tree leaves above. The little chick comes to and panics as she realizes she is in the beak of a goose. She goes limp, dripping wet, as the goose steps onto the grassy shore. The goose sets Fledgling down, who is frantically flailing her feet. She sits, observing her surroundings, soaked. She looks up...

...and sees a heroic sight, the saviour goose, backlit in sunlight, has taken on an angelic appearance.

Fledgling (11/14)

The Canada goose sips its head below the surface of the water to get a look at the helpless chick. It stretches its neck down and opens its beak wide. "No no no!" thinks Fledgling, "Come back, weird smooth birds!". The final panel we see the goose's butt shaking above the surface of the water.

Fledgling (10/14)

One of the two fish tugs at a distressed Fledgling's leg, while the other one shows surprise as if it sees something. The fish flee, leaving a perplexed chick. She looks on to see the webbed feet of a beast arriving on the surface of the water. A water-distorted Canada goose peers down at her.

Fledgling (9/14)

"Wah!" screams Fledgling, splashing on the surface of the pond. "What is this sensation?" she thinks to herself as she sinks lower. She slips under the surface, bubbles of air rising. She looks down to the dark bottom and sees two fish inspecting her. "Oh!," she thinks "more weird birds!"

Fledgling (8/14)

Mom bird pokes her head in to the nest to ask the two remaining chicks "Where's your sister??". One says "sister..." the other "uhh". "She said something about wanting to be interesting? so we would like her more?" "Which is weird because we love her even if she is super boring". Mom yells "where did she go?!" They reply "def heard her fall off the nest" "big time... I don't mind taking her cut of the warm bug mush" says one sibling, holding her beak up expectantly. "Hey! we agreed we would share!" says the other, off panel.

Fledgling (7/14)

"Ouch" says the black-and-white cat who had watched Fledgling fall from her nest. The cat looks up in a start to see a yellow bird staring angrily at her with an insect in its beak. "SCRAM!" screams the bird, food falling from its mouth. The cat is in total shock and jumps off of the branch with all of her long hair sticking straight on end. In a puff of hair, the cat is gone. "Huh!" ponders the yellow bird "I've never seen a cat's tail fall off before".

Fledgling (6/14)