Michael Carl

What they don’t tell you about being a grown up is that everyone has anxiety and that framing art is expensive

I had another baby girl dream, but I ruined it by asking if the milk was 2%

My trainer started pretend boxing with one of the other trainers. I tried to get involved by tickling and giggling - I got caught up - now my trainer is embarrassed when we train.

Going to the suburbs for the holidays is just a perpetual series of conversations about “who needs the car”

I’ll bet you can guess which one didn’t happen (again)

Having a cat and a dog and a love of Chardonnay is just a recipe for every knit you own being “ill fitting” and covered in animal hair

The shooter got off, the body of evidence was too much in the end.

Last night someone told me I looked like Steve Bannon, what a bitch, that’s the kind of thing you only say behind someone’s back. Today I called my doc for an Ozempic prescription and set up a laser appointment, at least I can try and look like a young Steve Bannon.

That’s fun, I’m going ro get in the spirit by drinking too much tonight and worrying about what I said all day tomorrow. HAPPY HOLIDAYS 🫣🥴😳

Giving Scott a run for his money

James told me I was fit today and I said “what did you say?” but I knew what he said, I just wanted to here him go into detail

From Ms Bobbow

Telling someone you are not trying to be passive aggressive is the most passive aggressive thing you can do.

Blink Twice did not get enough attention. It’s a sexy, twisty, twisted and unexpected thriller with some fun performances.
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On twitter I used to say that leggings were not pants, but back then I had no idea that bras were going to be considered everyday tops.

This in my “pretend” water. The water I buy at Hudson News for $8 to “stay hydrated” during the flight that I never drink.

The brutalist is 3 1/2 hours long, that’s ok, as long as it’s lighthearted, playful and fun like WICKED, it’ll fly by

Just a reminder for everyone new to the platform, the only thing that matters here is user engagement, so when you come across a troll or a bot, the WORST thing you can do is argue. Just use the robust block feature or ignore them altogether, and eventually the void will swallow them

Pete Hegseth is definitly slytherin

My partner didn’t pack any underwear or socks and asked to borrow my toothbrush, which leads me to wonder, what did he pack?

It’s time for least favorite thanksgiving tradition, repacking my clean workout clothes that I was 100% going to use this trip.

Why do straight people love Irish Spring?

Exactly, plus the unexpected ear hair and we are in the same boat

Thanksgiving game day! Nothing like tuning in to watch Tommy Cutlets 🤌🏽 play Cooper Rush #NFL 🏈
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“You know me, I’m easy” said no easy going person ever

My face also goes red, so it’s extra fun trying to command a room

Is it the flux, oh gosh, my 40’s are such a treat

I’m going to make one of these for James Newell

Anyone else at the age where you start coughing for no reason? iIt tends to happen during presentations for me, and that’s fun.

In 2017 Delta Airlines sent me his and his towels for my anniversary with James. Gestures matter! I will now never fly another airline, it cost them nothing, it was just thoughtful and they now have a dedicated client for life.