Hannah Johnson

Restoring Equality of Opportunity and Meritocracy By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered: Section 1.  Purpose.  A

“Disparate-impact liability all but requires individuals and businesses to consider race and engage in racial balancing to avoid potentially crippling legal liability.”

It doesn’t. That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.

The despair when your neurologist tells you that you’re the actual audience for those overpriced water bottles. Apparently heat sensitivity’s an asshole whose Achilles heel is a Stanley cup.

Man, I married some folks today, and even though the world is on fire, people still getting married for health insurance.

If my immune system could calm tf down and not assume all stress merits eating more holes in my brain, would appreciate it, because the world is certainly not getting less stressful from here on out.

Conclave = The Traitors for the papacy.

turns out if you go to a fancy restaurant on Valentine’s Day weekend with your spouse and bestie the waitstaff think you’re in a throuple

Dennis Hopper’s villain in Speed really hates public transit.

Ope The Onion getting a liiiiittle too close to the truth here.

Never enough biscuits 😭

Great 🧵 about how the abolition of birthright citizenship executive order makes citizenship new and differently ! precarious.

We are here to help each other get through this thing...whatever it is. - Kurt Vonnegut

Sometimes you just gotta go to Costco on inauguration day and buy biscuits stuffed with sausage gravy so you don’t freak out and scream at everyone that our country is fucked

The confusion of regional accents when you use the gender neutral plural “y’all” up north! (god forbid you use “folks.”)

If that’s not an omen of the year to come…

Finished book #42 of the year at a quarter til midnight—thank goodness for fiction, escapism, fantasy, sci-fi, smut, and all the rest that kept me sane through 2024.

Eating cheese around two dogs feels like the Mulaney bit with the McDonalds drive-through and one black coffee, except with more gut-wrenching whines.

Merry Christmas! This morning, I got to tell my stepmom about the NLRB and explain how the shit her last employer did was super illegal!

the church camp songs really just stick in there though

Really gotta say, when I was offered leftover Halloween candy for my office because I work for the government, that guy nailed civil service.

As I have found myself inadvertently quoting Ted Nugent, I had absolutely no impulse to pull an “um, actually…” about mammalian butchery, but now that you mention it—

Wait until you learn their meat is referred to as the “ribeye of the sky” and that they mate for life in the same day.

and thank goodness for that (make sure to keep voting, Wisconsinites, so this isn’t flipped on appeal!)

Ayah! Collective bargaining restored for public employees in Wisconsin! (As ever, suck it Scott Walker)

My dad cannot hear about dungeons and dragons without mentioning how he used to play as a kid. This year, my brother and I are conning him into a one-shot, should be great.

Deboning a turkey breast is…intimate.

Great timing, MRI, I love spending $650 four weeks before Xmas and eight weeks before the US economy collapses. #yayMS #AmericanHealthcareAtItsFinest

idk, fuck, gonna attempt to decolonize thanksgiving by cooking some shit inspired by Indigenous cuisine and that’s what I have energy to do right now.

Quote from Greenwire article on Gaetz AG nomination: “Luckily all of our environmental laws are older than 18 years, so Rep. Gaetz shouldn’t have much interest in them,” said Brett Hartl, government affairs director at the Center for Biological Diversity, a frequent litigant in environmental lawsuits.

Wowwww

Veronica from the film Heather's, played by Wynona Rider. In this image she has shoulder length black hair, black top, a denim ruffle skirt, and black leggings/tights. She is standing in the wood smiling and looking relaxed and carefree.

Veronica the End of Heather's. She is not looking cute or put together. Her hair is a soot stained tangled mess. Her face is covered with ash and blood. She is smoking a cigarette and holding it to her lips with a hand as filthy as her face. She looks like she just survived a knock down drag out fight that ended with getting caught in an explosion.

Voting Hillary 2016 and Voting Kamala 2024