the dashful Mr. Fox

a man with a beard wearing a hat and tie Alt: Snoop Dogg nodding wearing a top hat

I had a dream that Snoop Dogg was an Eldrich God with the power to appear at an any party where people were talking about him.🌱

a man wearing a da finisher shirt is kissing a cat Alt: a cat smacking a man in his face with its paw for trying to kiss it

"People who hate cats just don't like what they can't control."
I love cats but I don't think I could take care of one as a pet because what if the cat doesn't like me and I breathe wrong in its direction at it decides to hate me forever 😭

"Friendships cost less than battleships."
-The dashful Mr. Fox

So now I'm sitting here just trying to survive day-to-day-life while actual leaders out there are actively trying to end the world.

"Why are you depressed?"
Because my childhood taught no life skills, my upbringing didn't meet my psychological needs, school taught me humans like to war a lot, and looking 'out my 📺window' I can see we're unlikely to evolve out of that pattern before we end either ourselves or the world around us.

This world isn't "dying"
It's already dead.
Trying to save it would be like bacteria trying to revive their dying host.

It could be possible
if the bacteria wasn't wasn't too busy arguing wether the host was dying because the body's still warm.
By the time it's indisputable it's already too late.

Watching the world leaders genuienly feels like watching football teams agrue whose team's the best.
In objective truth it does not matter.
Psychologically we need "our team" mentality because humans are innately tribal.
I don't want to live in a world where countries are comparable to kids' games.

"You designed a product so good your company went bankrupt because nobody needed to buy a replacement?"
This is why humanity will never reach any level of utopia. We are a violent, tribal race, and any act of true sustainability gets shut down instead sustained because "It's not profitable."

One controbutor to my depression is

Every time I look at the biggest countries I see a bunch of cavemen pretending a suit and a tie means sophistication.

Yet there they are, playing little boy games with big boy guns.

Grow t F up so I can worry about my life instead of LITERALLY THE WHOLE PLANET.

a man is sitting in a chair in front of a microphone in a recording studio . Alt: Pulling hoodie hood shut to hide face and sliding down from a PC setup in embarrasment wanting to be swallowed by the earth

[Me]: <minding my business>
[My Brain🧠]: "Hey remember that one time you were listening to music during an online class and started singing along so the teacher said 'please mute your microphone' because you didn't know your mic wasn't muted by default?"
[Me]: Gee thanks I'll never live that down.

Me? I'm kinda stupid.

a cartoon of a fox holding a purple pillow and crying Alt: a cartoon of a fox holding a purple pillow and crying

my daily rhythm is so out of wack nothing makes any sense anymore

this isn't even the "sleep at 9 wake up at 17" situation I had last year, that was a stable sleep pattern that allowed me to comply with the societal schedules

I should start keeping a dream journal again

I swear the plotlines are good writing prompts

…Actually I ought probably start writing books.

a cartoon drawing of a person laying on a bed with the name porucz on the bottom Alt: a cartoon drawing of a person laying on a bed in a dark room illuminated blue to indicate that it is night, person's staring vacantly at the ceiling blinking and unable to sleep, signed by porucz on the bottom

Also, I can't sleep.

And because of that I've learned so much about the way dreams work I only wish I could have actual clinical backing to everything I've learned of the connections between the way your mind works, how your body works, and how your dreams work.

None of the logic traps that are supposed to tell you that you're dreaming work for me. I can read all text, I can count fingers, pinch, clocks work the way they're supposed to, hell I can even use a phone in a dream.
I was forced to learn to sense when I'm dreaming because logic didn't help me.

Sometimes I wish I could be part of a brain study about dreaming.
I have so many things I wish to talk about regarding dreaming - and I don't mean like "Oh I had this really interesting dream."
I mean the psychological and physiological connection with how you sense the world & how you sense dreams.

If I'm going to call myself a content creator…
I probably ought to actually start creating some content.

It's nott!! 🏍️🦊

I might be the only one who loves Instagram ads.
Not because I like to watch them, oh no

I love them because they remind me to put away the app.

Get an unskippable ad that forces me to wait more than 1 second? Yeah, bye, I got better things to do than doomscroll, thanks for reminding me insta<3

Stop destroying the testing sparatus.

I like to imagine the relationship between human and fey is the same as animals with humans

Like this being is very strange and dangerous and lives long lives and if you approach one you can never be sure if it'll make you it's pet or try to eat you.

Using a map app with single hand?
Tap tap (double tap) zooms in, pretty basic knowledge
Tap drag to zoom out :3
Didn't know that, found out today by accident!

You can sometimes recognize a Finn🇫🇮 speaking english just by text alone by the use of the words "also" & "too"

Based on my own experiences on avoiding becoming blinded by pain.
Not exactly a fun experience to feel like your arm is burning while all you can see is pure white. Either I haven't hit the nerve as hard since or I've learned to stop myself from feeling that aftershock.

Hypothesis:
Since the ulnar nerve doesn't deal with pain signals, most of the pain is psychological?
Could maybe be mitigated with actions such as "remain calm/do not panic" and "gently relax the arm" with "softly rub the area before the white scalding pain kicks in"

I can't wait to say "Oh no - she can move"

Gonna continue Black Mesa stream tomorrow :3
Wednesday 17th around 18:00-19:00
(UST+2)
twitch.tv/dashful_fox

And I can't even go back to play Overwatch because it physically makes me nauseous.
Believe me, I tried.

So I just spent an hour to delete my Marvel Rivals account so I can uninstall the game.

I really wish I could get a full god damn refund for that experience, but it probably won't happen because it's a shotty game like that.

Man I really wanted to like that game.