Webzie

Who else up weaponizing they incompetence?

The dentist gave me so much novacaine I legally turned into playdoh

By some cruel, strange twist of fate, I am awake

IT WILL NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME

THE AMOUNT OF GROWN-ASS ADULTS THAT CAN’T FIGURE SHIT OUT ON THEIR OWN

Didn’t bring my AirPods to work 🫠

Is there a German word for the need to constantly look busy so no one thinks you’re lazy?

Don’t give me a bad deal, or I’ll… 👹WUGWAB WAB👹

I really do feel like such a disappointment to so many people, and I can’t shake that feeling. I wish I could cure my brain

Kourtney Kardashian’s flourless Dubai chocolate labubu brownie

Why does EVERYTHING have to be so FUCKING TERRIFYING?

WAIT, YOU HAVE TO PAY $70 A YEAR IN ADDITION TO THE INITIAL COST OF $349 FOR THE RING ITSELF?

If you have an Oura Ring, good for you and your fucking lavish lifestyle I guess.

Is an Oura ring worth it?

i dont fw the flavors this week

I’m in my 30s and I’ve never had a job where I get my own desk. At least until today. Feels weird.

Google: “DOJ stands for Department of Justice.”

Me: “donald onald jrump”

Does it make you uncomfortable when someone says “Stop interrupting me”?

Here’s a tip:

Stop. Interrupting. Them.

My favorite part about being an intern is I’m included on the email distribution list for the entire department, so I get to see their passive aggressive correspondences while eating popcorn

Things that I find funny at 8 AM are different from the things I find funny at 1 PM are different from the things I find funny at 10 PM

Mom please come pick me up, I keep losing at Wii Bowling

No one has time for an overthinker. It’s 2025. The world will be swallowed by the sun someday. Stop overthinking.

At the Taco Bell Drive Thru about to ask for 2 sweet teas and a hunnid dicks

Is it normal for IT workplaces to be filled with the most insufferable people?

Lemme get 2 sweet teas and a hunnid dicks

And for my next trick, I’ll remember something funny and laugh out loud in a completely silent room full of strangers

Me: “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Sleep paralysis demon: “I… I don’t know how to answer that.”

Me after seeing the same thing happen only twice: “This shit happens all the fucking time”

Fuck this place, I’m leaving the toilet seat up

One of my best friends has a picture of herself drunk and high, holding a cigarette while petting a random sidewalk cat, and I promised to NEVER share it with anyone, but omg it brings me so much joy, I wish you all could see it

forgive me father for I have big tiddies and a dumptruck ass