Topher from Daddy TV

“Do you goon your tongue at us, sir?”

“I do goon my tongue, sir.”

-Shakespeare

I would pay thousands of dollars to be strapped into an XXL baby Björn while being nestled against a warm bosom.

Some of y’all never learned the difference between shade and a personality disorder.

What if I’m actually TOO reliable of a narrator??

I just wanna get railed by a Food Network host. It would cure me.

🧼🫧

The girl boss to goon bait pipeline

“I’m an educator.” - Me after blowing vape smoke on a baby

Queen Amidala in red dress

Ten year old millennial gay boys saw this queen on the big screen one time and made it their entire personalities 👑🚀

“Why is there a piece of popcorn in your chest hair?” - my boyfriend, in the middle of hooking up with me.

Thinking about chubby guys in tighty whities again

Mmmm, autumnal!

It’s giving darker than usual pee!

"A screenshot of an NBC News article headline. The headline reads: 'Texas bill would make identifying as transgender a felony punishable by jail.' Below the headline, a subtext states: 'The bill, while unlikely to pass, highlights the increasing extremism of legislation targeting trans people, especially in Texas, in recent years.' The NBC News logo is visible at the top, along with a navigation bar that includes a 'WATCH' button and a user profile icon."

I need y'all to sit with this headline and understand what is being done to our community. They're trying to criminalize our very existence.

This is a campaign of eradication.

www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/rcna...

I thought you were *MY* sweet grebe!?! 😤😤😤😤😤

Big stretch

Honestly HATE that there’s such a thing as a “dump cake” 😭😭😭😭😭

Only when you pop me in your mouth!

Being short is so embarrassing. How am I a grown ass man still being forced to think the words “tippy toes”????

“What did you do to upset him?????” - Me defending the monkey from The Monkey (2025)

When I buy I house, I hope there’s room for a coitus pond.

There’s literally a reality show called FOR THE LOVE OF DILFS and it is unhinged and I am so here for it

WARNING: My posts are protected with my blade!

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Not accepting opinions from people with a personality disorder and a ketamine addiction.

Sometimes a guy with skinny legs still ends up with a whole ham of an ass.

Please confirm if you’re aware of this phenomenon

Someone give us an award damn it!!

My therapist asked if I could do a virtual session today. So clearly he’s mad at me!

*unsheathing my sword*

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt…face me, you coward!!!!!!

Me, standing in a seedy leather bar next to a naked man: I wonder if they serve hot tea?😌

Conjoined twin unicorns