Ethan

good thing your name is Tim Onion and not whoever this "Bem Colons" guy is

I like when jesus said "I'd love to heal you but you aren't a citizen so actually get fucked loser" and then ran away shooting his guns in the air

I'd like to extend the invite to become a Dortmund fan where we are never disappointed about anything ever I promise

wait but didn't a thing get signed saying "gender is determined at conception" which makes every man trans by definition? Republicans are the actual ones pushing "trans for everyone?"

Cargo shorts? Well, put some gas in it. Then, cargo fars

we've literally been through the "Take MMR separately" bullshit with Wakefield idk how we keep circling back to the guy who wanted to pay children for their blood at a birthday party... I'm just tired atp

At least we know paper Mario FUCKS

man, how come nobody asks "how are quantum mechanics?"

sad world we live in

is the current president of the united states doing the same thing that Andrew Wakefield did? lie about the risks of a completely safe drug and then make his own, shittier version of the drug that gets sold for 10x the cost?

me when it's 2am googling that hyper-specific porn category

a mascot wearing a yellow shirt that says bvb on it ALT: a mascot wearing a yellow shirt that says bvb on it

I thought this account was the one for this bee ngl

love it when my government does the most embarrassing shit possible.....

whoever unbanned you should be fired wtf my timeline was so clean for like a day

the fuck is a groyper (don't tell me I actually do not care)

new "eat the rich" just dropped

the average literacy in the US going above a 7th grade reading level

Cockremover? I hardly know her

JOE MAMMA GOTEEEEEMMMMMMMMMM

Joe.

I only follow people to crank my shit to.
I mean, jork my penits
no I mean play the fleshy finger flute
wait no I mean

walton goggin on deez nutz

shit, I was aiming for "immediately recognizable voice" but my first 3 picks are all actually dead now

we should hire Patton Oswalt to record all of your post history so we can have an audiobook version

good news for you then; I will always be (respectfully) in hate with you

well shit. That's the only bidding time I've got for the next few months. sorry

can I pencil in for 4:00 next thursday?

did you tell her about the socks?

feint of heart (where your heart feigns beating)

a purple teletubbies character is standing next to a black ball on a gray background . Alt: a purple teletubby character is standing next to a black ball on a gray background. (from the game Interactive Buddy)

this game was wild