David Wheels

Gotthardt Kuehl - In the Coffeehouse 1915

Look upon my garden gate a snail is what it is.

First, there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.

I'm in Uganda, lecturing. My room has a vast mosquito net. Getting out of it to go for a late night wee isn't easy, particularly if you're in a wheelchair. Think Paddington without the marmalade.

“Don’t fret duckle I wont tell anyone you’ve given Dolly Fandango a higher mark than me. However you seem to think Ned the stable lad is a 11 out of ten and that I’m afraid changes things somewhat”.

#GirlsOwwnCC

The Feathers Sunday lunch disaster would live long in the memory. Just why the landlady decided to replace the Aunt Bessie’s Yorkshire puddings with poppadoms, was between her and Mr Singh from the corner shop.

#NewAlanBennets

They sound amazing.

Two pelicans by a pond in a park

PELICANS
Similar in one respect to British Gas, in that they can both stick their bills up their arses

I’m almost at that age when I approach strangers, and tell them “I’m many years old you know”.

Print featuring early rising light causing long shadows from the trunks of trees in a forest

'Tall shadows'' by Sarah Ross Thompson, contemporary UK #printmaker #womensart

No Miss Dango I’ve had to put you ashore. The crew have had enough of your operatic sea shanty’s, splicing the mainbrace at 4 bells past midnight. Not only that the bosun most certainly did not appreciate you shivering his timber in such a rough and ready manner.

#GirlsOwnCC

Don’t undo his zip

Send me some money
I’ve something to sell
It’s a secrete formula
That will make you well.
JFK

Peggy, page 33 of your contortionist book for beginners is missing, I fear you may have to send for for the fire brigade to untie my legs.

#GirlsOwnCC

In my profile it says MK season Ticket. It was of course the MK Dons I was referring to. I am no longer a MK Don season ticket holder, the excitement was just too much.

If only you had a trillion volt supersonic thermo fluid lance defibrillator, that would not only kick start him. Unfortunately it will also melt the universe.

What’s up doc ?

There was no speed limit
On the Nevada state line
The air was red wine
On those top down nights
Just you and me
My old rollarskate
And the common sense
To know our rights

@sanyaburgess.bsky.social
Hi Sanya, I read your article in Saturdays i newspaper. I wondered if you posted it on X, and had a look. I couldn’t believe the amount of abuse you receive. It’s (X). is now completely out of control and just about untouchable.

It Iwas double entendre night at the Feathers. Unfortunately, Janet hadn’t quite grasped the concept of the perfect double entendre, shouting "arse" whenever anyone uttered the required "Oh! Matron" after every double entendre. This left the Cock Inn as the clear winners.

#NewAlanBennetts

There was this giant moth at the wheel of a ship carrying hundreds of kitten, suddenly it saw a lighthouse

Bertie must think Elfriede is a German spy. He was talking about giving her a severe grilling.

#GirlsOwnAdviseCC

This years Harvest Festival display had been ruined by the anonymous appearance of a Lidl’s jar of olives, “why would anyone want to upset Jesus this way”? asked the vicar.

#NewAlanBennetts

Musk supporting Tommy Robinson. Meanwhile in the US political assassinations, thousands of gun crimes a year, troops on the streets of the big cities. People deported without due process, judges removed from office. All from a President who wears make up

Janet worried about Neville’s state of mind, he’s abandoned winkle’s for crabsticks and gravy for jus.

#NewAlanBennetts

I may have miss judged Che Farage

The deliveryman now knows the pizza is not for Mam but he still knocks to see if 'the voluptuous 97-year-old' is in.
#NewAlanBennetts

Cartoon of two birds facing each other. The one on the left has its beak open and is saying “Squawk to me, like plovers do…”

Common Kingfisher (Alcedo atthis):

"My little kingfisher painting based on a reference photo published on this site - big thanks to R.I. Photography for use of the image. Acrylic on board. 8x10." Liz Ware

This European, North African & Asian species of Kingfisher has a wingspan of 25cm (9.8in).

Good evening

Excellent