Corm

Hiya luv it’s been a minute !

Remind me to invest in a full length mirror

Hate taking antibiotics that tell me to take 2 hours after eating and I have to take 4 times a day but I like little snacks throughout the day, where do I find the time, this is stressful

Saying you want sex ❌
Saying you’ve got a hankering for some spankering ✅

Same as mine 😭 I had to scream for help until a neighbour heard and rang our building’s maintenance, bring your phone to the bathroom each time !!

I don’t wanna be dramatic and say I have PTSD but I was trapped in my bathroom for 4 hours on Sunday because the door handle fell off and now I can’t stand to go in there

Elon Musk: Why isn’t there enough water in California?

Grok (burning through an entire lake to generate an answer): Wokeness

I keep forgetting about this app I need to leave Twatter once and for all

Still have *slight* flu symptoms after two weeks, so going to milk it as much as possible so my mum looks after me when I go back to Ireland tomorrow

I know this ain’t Google hehe

Why do dogs get “destroyed” like that wording has always sounded weird af to me

No one is worse at gift shopping than me, I suddenly get amnesia and forget the person’s likes and interests

Put on a pair of socks that say ‘Thursday’ even though it’s Tuesday

Oh…

Joe should pardon the CEO killer it’s the right thing to do

Na don’t think she has, no x

Was craving a nice bacon butty but absolutely incinerated the bacon, fuck u corm

Lucy Letby truthers need to get in the bin

I deserve it 🥰 x

Zelda, Pokémon, all the good shit x

V tempted to buy a Switch as a Christmas present to myself x

Off sick from work which means I’m dead excited for a big fuck off bowl of soup

12th day working in a row gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Straight man in work said my hair looks luscious today im blushing like a slut x

Happy with my current sober streak and willing for it to continue but Christmas at home is coming up

Always need to know how many plays a song has on Spotify I’m nosey

Done my back in having s*x it’s over for me

What glorious weather to stay in and do fuck all*

*I do this anyway

My god dont any of you fcf folk have jobs?

The abysmal daughter of captain Tom Moore