Lisa

Binge-watching ‘ER’
To distract from real drama
Is keeping me sane

Life is now crawling
From one crisis to the next
Forsaking all joy

Welcome, eczema!
Please, take a seat among all
My other ailments

New downstairs neighbours
Somehow even louder than
The fuckers upstairs

Health anxiety
Ever growing symptom list
A worrying time

A challenging year
Endless worry and sadness
Dreading coming months

💙

There’s no time limit
But I feel guilty for still
Grieving so deeply

When I wear my new
Dental night guard I look like
Francis Dolarhyde

A whole year has passed?
It feels both like a lifetime
And no time at all

One hundredth haiku
My three lines of vapid thoughts
Sent into the void

Severe self-neglect
Has caused irreversible
Damage to my health

Shaking like a leaf
Advocating for myself
Shouldn’t feel this bad

You: It gets better!
Me: Oh? For who? How? And when?
Fuck all the way off

I’ve reached my limit
Rock bottom is scarier
Than I remember

I got out of bed
Drove to get my flu vaccine
Then went back to bed

If I died today
It would be weeks before my
Body would be found

How sad, the only
Person I speak to all week
Is my therapist

She’d start sentences
With “See how…” and “As I say…”
Glaswegian Nana

I haven’t felt joy
Since my two cats died last year
Both within two weeks

I’m hanging on to
Life by the thinnest of threads
No one gives a shit

I’m not strong enough
To mediate the crisis
In my family

How to ‘cry for help’
Without taking up precious
Time and resources?

I’m disconnected
A lone explorer on the
Surface of the moon

Alone in the dark
My world has gotten so small
I cease to exist

How can I trust you
When you don’t tell me the truth?
Lies will hurt us both

Good night, sweet Merlot
A darling pirate moggy
Rest In Purr-adise

Family fractured
How will we come back from this?
My world is broken

Someone explain why
Modern dentistry is still
Sadistic torture

Please come back to me
I know it’s impossible
But I’m so alone