Christopher Manson

My Lottery Dream Home Be Careful What You Dream For

My Lottery Dream Home, Part 1
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He needs balls, not a ballroom.

A Freaky Friday-type scenario where all the people starving in Gaza are switched with America’s kiddie rapers and kiddie raper enablers.

Choose Your Words Carelessly "What I meant to say was. . ."

NEW! A short, painfully funny piece suggested by recent events.
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To the family of the late Hulk Hogan: You’re SUPPOSED to disrespect racists.

Have y'all prepared yourselves for the Rubberband Man?

My Favorite Hot Dog Toppings, Ranked From mustard to blood, everything goes great on a weiner.

A few things:
1) I have a new FUNNY article at Chortle. Thanks, Greg - I don’t know who is responsible for the artwork.
2) Effective immediately I am referring to it as “social” “media.”
3) Trump is in the Epstein files.
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I’m in a blue funk today. The only thinking giving me any measure of comfort is knowing that racist son of a bitch Hulk Hogan is roasting in Hell.

I hope Ghislaine gets to tell all before she dies mysteriously.

I don't care if CBS cancels Colbert as long as Ben and Jerry's doesn't cancel Americone Dream.

Billionaires: They're Not Like Us In Case You Weren't Aware

If my new piece makes you physically ill, I've done my job.
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Out today. Can’t wait to read Barry Mazor’s BLOOD HARMONY: THE EVERLY BROTHERS STORY!

From the MANSON! Archives - "Bowling" (2010) Because I couldn't find the funny piece I wrote about Coldplay.

Fifteen years ago, I predicted that Bowling would be a thing again. I’m still waiting.
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Let’s start a rumor that Trump wants to cut government funding for NASCAR and really get the cult fired up.

Ouch! An Inspiring Story of Endurance. Or Something.

My latest true-life funny story. The pleasure’s all yours, the pain is all mine.
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We’ve just received reports that hundreds of thousands of murderous space creatures have landed on U.S. soil. Department of Homeland Security honcho Kristi Noem has jumped into action, asking her Instagram followers, “Which hat should I wear?”

Cat Bath Fever A Story - Reading Group Guide to be Published Later This Week

A new story! Funny and heartbreaking.
christophermanson.substack.com/p/cat-bath-f...

You Wear It Well Unsolicited Advice for Pop Culture Fashionistas

NEW! A funny short that somehow works in Sublime, the Cubs, ICE, Totoro, and my own assholiness.
christophermanson.substack.com/p/you-wear-i...

Out today. Spencer Quinn (a/k/a Peter Abrahams), an author I love, has a new book out, MRS. PLANSKY GOES ROGUE. I like what I’ve read so far!

STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN!!!!!!!

Mexico Issues Response to Trump's Latest Tarriff Threats:
“EPSTEIN!!!!!!!”

THIS JUST IN. . . RFK Jr. Warns ‘Metal Health Will Drive You Mad,’ Slams New Rolling Arthritis Vaccine

DUST OFF THE KRYPTONITE

Not saying I would ever do this, but... if I WERE to murder someone, and someone else walked in on me, I would just say, "He was going to kill you too."

Tom Hanks Announces Plan to Create New Political Party in America

Get those wicked thoughts out of your head and transfer them to the appropriate body parts. #ThursdayThoughts

Ants Ponder on This

I've been thinking about Ants lately.
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How soon before Trump takes credit for shoes off at the airport?

I’d love to go on a “Kiss Kruise” but only if I get to toss the band members overboard.

Today's Favorite Movie: The Big T.N.T. Show (1965) Rock 'N Roll. . . and Then Some

Today’s Favorite Movie! From 1965, THE BIG T.N.T. SHOW - it’s dynamite!
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