If 30-50 are a regular occurrence, our hero needs to quit pussyfooting around and inveat in some claymores

This is the best advertisement I have ever seen in my life. I will never see the movie.

The Bill Swerski's Superfans x Norman Schwarzkopf Weekend Update crossover sketch we've all been waiting on for 34 years has finally arrived.

You've got 5, 5, 5, you've got 6, 6, 6, arms on your Shiva statue

How I yearn for the batteries of our youth. Before they added the bitter taste to stop us from eating them.

What did I sign up for and how long ago did I do it to also get that last night?

I hope you told him mentioning stairs is ableist and having them in your house is classist and whatever other imaginary offenses you could come up with

MARIO DID THE THING

Mario saw Billy try and fail to blow it earlier and said hold my beer

Steak cooked in a truck muffler

Somehow FSU - Miami is on 2 of my multiview screens and are 10 seconds apart

I think maybe UT should let the other quarterback run this last play

Just got home settling in and boy howdy Texas what are we doing here

Dalvin Cook really singlehandedly hid the fact that man hadn't give a shit since '14

If the universe had any sense of humor at all Puff Daddy would go to the same prison as Suge Knight

I think age just works differently now. Because after the Orbison thing I went back and realized that young elvis, war elvis, hollywood elvis, the comeback special, and fat vegas elvis all managed to happen in 42 years of life. Insane.

Reject modernity

I didstinctly remember Roy Orbison being 1,000 years old and the feeble old man member of the Wilbury's and it turns out he died at *52*

I think it was a Drew Magary piece that made me realize I'd been reflexively putting tomatoes on my sandwiches for 40 years despite not liking them

I never think of myself as one of those sensory autistics until I take a showernin very soft water and lose my mind

It's important for music nerds to remember it can be fun for fun's sake sometimes, as a treat.

A toddler in an watching Paw Patrol on a seatback television

Got to ride the airport train AND watch Paw Patrol on an airplane this is a top 5 day in my man's entire life

As a fishstick enthusiast (who had to look it up), I wholeheartedly agree

A frog on a hose

Lord, grant me the serenity of this frog observing the pool vacuum. Amen.

Gotta want it

WeatherStar 4000+ Web based WeatherStar 4000 simulator that reports current and forecast weather conditions plus a few extras!

The music keeps playing when you minimize the browser. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Worked with a Mizzou alum in 06-08 who hated those Mangino Kansas teams with the fire of a thousand suns. Good times.

Chase by-god Daniel!

Souvenir cups

Shame the store was out of Canadian Tuxedos but I reckon this will do in a pinch