Lament/Matthew

How was your first day of being 16?

Oh, y'know. Just had a mental breakdown. Just lost everything. The normal for me.

Alright *grabs baseball bat*

HOLD STILL!

(💀 lol)

It's my day of birth. Help?

Allegedly.

MENTAL BREAKDOWN OVER IM HAPPY AND IM AT APPLEBEE'S

Doxx m, hurt me, whatever. I'll be dead by the time you unblock me and respond. No I'm not telling my parents about my goddamn suicidal thoughts anymore. You can't take a dead body to the psych ward.

Note: if you can't stand by me when I'm at the lowest point in my life, then you don't deserve to stand with me at the highest points in my life.

Oh no, what ever will Lament do?

I LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH!! I LOVE INTERACTING WITH THEM!! HOLY CRAB GUYS I LITERALLY CAN'T.

Ahakahbekeiwiaowlsndbdhskmsbxhskama shsgeusnsmshsjslshdjdueoakabsgdisnakaiaysbsmxbdhyeiaansm

and now i hate you. and everything you do. everything that surrounds you.

Already broken down enough that people could do anything to be and I'd take it out of desperation to no longer be alone.

Just had my old friends force me to become verbal. I really don't have any true friends...

Staying home for safety reasons...

I was promised that you would never leave.
I was promised that you wouldn't abandon me.

You. Promised. Me.

Maybe lol please kill me

Mental health is now dead. Have therapy Wednesday, haven't had therapy in two weeks. Got exams coming up. Haven't had meds for a couple days. I've been abandoned.

I have to stay home from school tomorrow so I am safe. I might end up at the hospital in the psych unit tho.

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT

I'm going to fucking spiral

Abandonment issues YIPPIE

my friends. My life lines. They blocked me

Sidewalk doodle in the "town" IM DEAD ITS SO UGLY

Taking a break from social media. adios.

ATP I might just delete everything.

For anyone that *doesn't know*:

my writing is another form of venting but nobody raises concerns or contacts me about it, because I use a different perspective

Isn't that weird?

Once again, to anyone who reads this, I am having an emotional reaction, and really needed to vent. I prefer this over paper because I'd feel more guilty for deleting posts...

I'M ALREADY DEALING WITH SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. FUCK. YOU.

I'M RELIVING CHILDHOOD TRAUMA THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO DEAL WITH IN THERAPY YET. I NEED TRAUMA THERAPY FOR IT. I'M A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK RIGHT NOW. I FEEL SHAKY AND SICK AND JUST OVERALL LIKE SHIT. I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS GOING TO LEAVE ME NOW.

I FUCKING HATE YOU. I DID EVERY FUCKING THING FOR YOU AND YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL MAN? I CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT SERIOUSLY. I PUT MY FUCKING EMOTIONS AWAY FOR YOU, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR YOU, HELPED YOU AS MUCH AS I FUCKING GOOD AND I'M JUST SO DONE RIGHT NOW.

Vent

Y'know, it's probably me just going through the 5 stages of grief, but I am actually so mad. Enjoy the next few emotional messages. Please know that I'm just trying to process everything. You were my closest friend. With separation anxiety and abandonment issues due to childhood trauma

Gonna do some writing, watch me if ya want

docs.google.com/document/d/1...