Jifty

bragging about being a giant pussy is integral to the conservative mindset

Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing

Protesters Urged Not To Give Trump Administration Pretext For What It Already Doing theonion.com/protest...

#ReleaseTheCuomoList

"Might I suggest a thorough go fuck yourself?"

Israel Accuses Al Jazeera Of Being Mouthpiece For Journalism

Israel Accuses Al Jazeera Of Being Mouthpiece For Journalism
theonion.com/israel-...

As someone who has lived my whole adult life in cities deemed “dangerous”—NYC, NOLA, and SF—I think a lot about how dense cities require patience, calm, and tolerance in the midst of social difference, which are of course exactly the civic virtues that the right resents being told to cultivate.

guys it’s really not funny that the fbi agent took a footlong to the chest. stop laughing. it’s NOT FUNNY that an fbi agent in head to toe tactical gear tried to chase the guy who hucked a sandwich straight at his bulletproof vest but couldn’t outrun him

Stay salty DC 🔥

hear me out here, what if none of it is a 'distraction' and they're just doing a lot of horrible shit simultaneously

imagining "Big Balls Beatdown" in a middle-school social studies textbook

I just can’t believe our Reichstag Fire is the Big Balls Beatdown.

Getting hotter is too expensive I must get funnier

You have more money than God. But you want incentives to do good, moral things?

A reminder that there are no good billionaires.

how much caffeine can a human take

computer end program

it is not about sports. it has never been about sports. it is about banning trans people from public life entirely AT BEST, and at worst, forcing them into situations that will endanger their lives. this is why we don't play along with the "just asking questions" sports bullshit

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

Transphobia is a disease but there’s one treatment! It can be found at the bottom of a cliff!

Jump to it.

As part of our settlement we have agreed to insert an ancestor of Gina Carano's Cara Dune character into The Acolyte to make sure Abigail Thorn's character is using "the right bathroom"*.

*We thought the Sith just go anywhere and use their powers to make it go away. Turns out that's another series.

Timeline cleanse

This argument used to be about stuff like universal healthcare and now it’s about specific groups of people deemed an acceptable loss

Somehow ended up in possession of a caramel apple, and that’s got to be one of the foods with the widest delta between how fun it would seem and the actual experience of eating it.

I guess my purity test is “believe in something”

Just a reminder that if you're working on the HBO Harry Potter show, or the audiobook, or making/buying licensed Harry Potter products, or covering *any* of the previously noted without mentioning JK Rowling's virulent and non-stop transphobia, this is what you're supporting:

From The Archives: Trump Teeters On White House Ledge Weighing Pros And Cons Of Killing Self Right Now To Distract From McCain’s Funeral

From The Archives: Trump Teeters On White House Ledge Weighing Pros And Cons Of Killing Self Right Now To Distract From McCain’s Funeral

My sister THE MAYOR OF BERKELEY hosted our family reunion so I made a shirt to explain my role in our familial unit.
See:
-The mayor gave a chartered bus tour of her city, then helped cook breakfast for 50 people while on a zoom.
-I found a decomposing wild turkey carcass & poked it with a stick.

news article: "Marvel Posts $10,000 Reward for Whoever writes Best Reason All Those Kang Dies" Various Kangs die, including by t-shirt cannon, being in the same pretzel card, beaver attack/stolen pants, and having to go now because their planet needs them.

A false rumor.

We have plenty of ideas.

the ending of this explainer might surprise you

I can hear this gif