Rupert

I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.

So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”

It's all the inconsequential lime pies that I feel sorry for.

“0% woke shit”

a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time

BBC really burying the lede there

Just think - you've helped set them up on a pathway of activism that they'll likely be addicted to their whole lives!

⬆️ 🗣️""👎

💭😟

Pretty sure that's a bassoon

A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor.

A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Cuthbert, Dibble, and Grubb

Fired after one day on the building site. My brick glue was ‘runny’ and ‘not called that’ and my wall icing ‘uneven’ and ‘not called that’.

Anyway, we need some joy, so here's the Egyptian foreign minister being given a Lego Pyramid by the Danish foreign minister.

London is a matter of taste, that's all. Have you noticed people talking a lot of shit about London lately?

I have, perhaps unwisely, written about London... ferguscraig.substack.com/p/london-is-...

Japan's "Mundane Halloween" costume contest is back!

Each year website DailyPortalZ holds a contest where people dress up as something super duper ordinary.

Here's a thread of some of my favorites from the 2025 contest!

#MundaneHalloween

Schéma de 3 cercles avec les points communs entre un professeur de philosophie, les Backstreet Boys et un enfant de 4 ans « dis-moi pourquoi) Source inconnue

Bonjourrrr

the Coldplay song Yellow is about cooking with turmeric

I like how you can use emojis to zoom in on a pig
🐖
🐷
🐽

View of Delft, 1661. Sunlight splashes through soft clouds onto weathered hardness of brick & stone. Breathtaking. Vermeer, born OTD 1632.

Drawing of a sort of hemispherical blob with a face and lots of little legs.

They said I shouldn’t do it. They said there was no point.

But I’ve done it. I’ve proved them wrong.

I’ve reinvented the wheel and it’s FUCKING AWESOME

Sincere post: it is one of the greatest joys of my adult life to be able to see the magic of the holidays renewed through the eyes of a younger generation. Hunting for eggs on Easter, Trick or Treating on Halloween, hiding under the covers so the Night Turkey doesn't peck your penis off, Santa Claus

I heard there was a statue tall
That sneered at folk and commanded all
But you don't really care for symbols do ya
It goes like this the feet the fist
The head that fell the aim that missed
The long lost king whose name was Ozymandias
Ozymandias
Ozymandias
Ozymandias
Ozymaaaaandias

Once upon a desert sandy
As through winds the trav'ling man he
Spied the face of Ozymandy
Lying, simply lying there
Suddenly there was some writing
Pon the plinth that he was sighting
That the sand and time were blighting
Quoth the statue, "Now despair"

- What have you come as?

- A Werewolf.

- But… they're your normal clothes.

- It's not a full moon.

"You'll like this... not #axolotl, but you'll like it."
One of mine from the current Private Eye.

[repeating myself louder in the haunted house attraction] did the dracula throw water on anyone else’s pants??

When he says “hit it, Joe”, I don’t think first time viewers are going to be prepared for just how hard Joe hits it.

Reminds me very much of this

I’ve just been to the world’s worst planetarium.

One star.

having to give up the empty seat next to you on a packed train is the same vibe as equality feels like oppression when you're the privileged demographic