Instead of a cat, Dr. Evil should have had a Canada goose

I became Senior VP at a multi-million dollar company at age 26. My salary was $600k. This was in 2018. How did I do it? Blacked out lines CEO (my dad) promoted me to SVP. There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.

This is blackout poetry to me

I didn't really realize how *funny* the Final Fantasy games are

If I ever get bitten by a zombie, I want y'all to either 1) shoot me before I turn or 2) wait until I turn and then let me loose in a room full of people we hate

Sony State of Plaaaaaaaaaaay
Thursday at twooooooooo

FF7FF7FF7FF7FF7FF7FF7FF7

Netflix's Surrender Has Already Begun A CEO calling his own company's past a "mistake." A 47-page report designed to be cited, not read. The pressure campaign that broke Facebook is back for Netflix.

Today's newsletter is about the very bad feeling I got from watching the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing about Netflix this week www.readtpa.com/p/netflixs-s...

Dance like people are watching and you’re trying to make them upset

Over the past two weeks I've begun to realize that rich people only started funding chatbots once they could no longer email Jeffrey Epstein

Hey funny story!

Remember how for like 20 years we said if you tell people to only study STEM that job market would tank & also no one would be able to think critically about rhetoric or ethics, know what happened at any point in history or value much but money?

Man, I love that one. Cracks me up.

Americans will really use anything but the metric system (complimentary)

In the FFVII Remake crossover for PowerWash Simulator, Heidegger shares a range of opinions about Sephiroth, commenting on everything from his hair to his iconic long katana.

This joke/reference is probably only funny to me, but I'm laughing enough for everyone

It'd be weird even for me to track down someone I haven't talked to since high school to tell them that I just played a video game with a character voiced by a singer she was hardcore obsessed with and it made me think of her, right?

I didn’t think I could find a hair descriptor in fanfic more annoying than "ravenette", but thank goodness to the FF7 community, who have proven me wrong with the cursed existence of the word "silverette"

Reading the US news lately is like watching a movie depicting a particularly unsubtle fall into fascism

Old Spice should use skinless Uncle Frank from Hellraiser in their commercials

I FUCKING BEAT FINAL FANTASY VII!!!! BARRETT HAD ONE GODDAMNED HIT POINT LEFT BUT I BEAT IT

Nintendo should make a Mario Kart game where they're driving through other games.

Mario riding a cloud through Gongaga, waving at Cloud and Barrett like Bastian at the end of The Neverending Story.

At the rate I'm going, at the end of the year I'm going to be like "I played 5 games this year and they were all FF7!"

My cat regrets to inform you that I will no longer be working today. My attention will instead be directed to petting his soft belly. He does not apologize for the inconvenience.

I found a $300 USD gift card that my old team gave me when I left the US and decided to spend it on FFVII toys

hmmmmmmmmff 🍷

I guess what surprises me is the revelation that Meta had a fact-checking program. Every platform it owns is basically unusable at this point

My friend: [Partner] says I don’t want an autism eval because the new administration might round up everybody into camps.
Me: On the other hand, if you get a diagnosis and he starts making noises about doing that, you can move to Canada and claim asylum!
My friend: ...helping?

Happy Birthday, Celsius! Canada marks 50 years of metric-Imperial measurements EDMONTON — Happy Birthday, Celsius! Environment Canada's use of Celsius turns 50 years old in 2025. It was the catalyst of a lengthy national metric conversion that abruptly ended a decade after it began. The result is seen and felt every day.

EDMONTON — Happy Birthday, Celsius! Environment Canada's use of Celsius turns 50 years old in 2025. It was the catalyst of a lengthy national metric conversion that abruptly ended a decade after it began. The result is seen and felt every day.

If A Christmas Carol was fanfic, Dickens would admit in the author's note that he wrote the whole thing around the "there's more of gravy than the grave about you" joke

🚨🚨THERE IS A CHRISTMAS ASTRO BOT LEVEL 🚨🚨

Man, how did people remember when things happened before email and social media?

A list of reasons to make art:
-horny
-spite
-for the bit
-if you don't who will

I’m going to say something bold here and publicly state that “murder is not the way to solve national problems” but suffering from chronic debilitating pain seems to be a much more logical reason for someone to go apeshit than women being in Star Wars