@waxmittert.bsky.social
Damaged goods. Click someone else’s link. linktree.com/maxwittert
When I respond, “Wait are you serious??” that’s two-factor authentication
28.03.2025 19:00 — 👍 8 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
A Goblin Struggles to Tie His Shoes, 25x50, oil stick on paper. As featured in “Honey.” DM for purchasing info.
21.02.2025 20:44 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Wait I’m actually so much like a bat. Love fruit, scream a lot, mostly just hang out at home, me and my friends love going out at night, women hate me traditionally
05.02.2025 18:53 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“Diva down” refers to the soft, fluffy undercoat beneath the diva’s outer layer
05.02.2025 17:24 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I wish it was Greenwich Nice Time. Our world has so much pain in it as it is.
05.02.2025 17:21 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Product drop. Shoe divas assemble! www.maxwittert.com/boutique/
02.02.2025 23:28 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Go watch my new short, “Honey.”
Staff pick at @vimeo.com
tr.ee/x-3FshMxNE
There needs to be a Criterion for music. I need more opportunities to be pretentious.
29.01.2025 03:04 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Sometimes I just turn on the humidifier and the dehumidifier and just let them battle it out
27.01.2025 14:27 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
She needs to figure this shjt out I literally cannot do anything more for her
27.01.2025 04:47 — 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My husband has been at the brutalist for nearly 8 days now. Please, I need your help
27.01.2025 04:07 — 👍 9 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I miss when I didn’t know who was a billionaire
27.01.2025 03:34 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I’m sorry but slumber is gay as hell. Sleeping is for women you’re a man wake the fuck up
27.01.2025 03:02 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Recipes don’t work 💗
27.01.2025 02:54 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0YES, I am a DEI hire:
Divalicious
Extroverted
Italian
I (sp?) need head
27.01.2025 01:09 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Make it stop. Make it end.
26.01.2025 22:29 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If I were an employee, I would never wash my hands. Just like out of spite
26.01.2025 21:05 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I was betrayed by an udon house today.
26.01.2025 21:05 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1
Lil outfit I liked
22.01.2025 03:01 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You know your phone knows you when it changes “Moby Dick” to “Nobu dick.”
15.01.2025 16:50 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Donkey Kong needs a Breath of the Wild style treatment
15.01.2025 05:56 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Hey Siri, please present my three lovely daughters, each more beautiful than the last.
11.01.2025 21:44 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0- Rachel Cusk
10.01.2025 12:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If they want Siri and Alexa to sound more relatable they need to cough at inopportune times and say “sorry one second—“
08.01.2025 20:48 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0This morning I shot up out of bed sweating, and had a premonition of The Return of the Cork Wedge #gayguyfashiondiva
08.01.2025 15:35 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Charge me $40 more for an adults-only flight please.
03.01.2025 19:41 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They should make beef milk—like blend the beef with water and strain it into a milk, for those who can’t have dairy, and also want to fucking kill vegans for no reason.
28.12.2024 20:26 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If I could design my own mansion it would have a movie theater in it and the bathrooms in my mansion would basically be line of automatic urinals and two of seven faucets would work and instead of a kitchen there would be a concessions stand and my house would be next to a mall.
23.12.2024 03:06 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Going viral on Bluesky is like
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