Veronika Swartz

I've been single for so long that someone asked me if I was seeing anyone and I named my therapist.

I'm on this new special diet where you just eat anything you can afford.

I know a lot of us want to see more of this on screen but for now please ask your local librarian for a list of Indigenous horror/folklore/fantasy novels. I promise you will not regret reading a single one.

Oops I accidentally ruined the workplace by being more qualified than my male boss and all I got for it was this lousy gender gap paycheck.

I wrote this. Please like me.

Hell just got a little more evil.

There is no social media in the Bible. If you are Christian you should shout your thoughts from the mountaintop.

Maga keeps going after Netflix. They are not the only streaming service with queer content for all ages however, they are the only service that didn't pay the "trump tax, (kissing his ass).

He keeps making things up when we all know that autism was caused by shape-shifting lizard aliens that crashed into the flat earth and mated with Hillary Clinton in the basement of a pizza place.

We are one step closer to George Springer riding a horse topless......Ladies.

"CaNaDiAnS dOn'T kNoW aNyThINg AbOuT bAsEbAlL"

Buddy, we know more about your own country's history than you.

Why should we listen to her anyway? She's a virgin who can't drive.

It's only a little different #Peacemaker #30Rock

🎶 That's bait and I don't need to participate 🎶 Sing it with me now!

Men will literally rapture half the population just so they don't have to take care of their kids.

Me, when I'm telling a story from point B to point F to point A to point J to point A again to point C to point E to point D.

It's Bi Pride day! Eat my ass, I'm bisexual!

Have a blessed Mabon, or a happy first day of Fall for those of you who believe in that sort of thing!

The rapture happened at 8:42 this morning. See? You can just say things.

I'm just a silly little guy.

All the white male comics that were upset about your Kirk jokes are now upset that Kimmel was cancelled. It's almost as though fascism comes for everyone.

The ADHD in me honors the ADHD in you.

Centrists are just 3 right-wingers in a trenchcoat.

Charles-Haden Savage admitting to being, "a little gay", made my whole year. Thank you, Only Murders in the Building. We needed you.

We pay our landlords for a service and they treat us like we work for them.

Love to hop on Threads to see people using the same post structure we used 10 yrs ago on Twitter. I SAID WHAT I SAID!

Men will be like, "You bleed every month? Gross.", then proceed to pee on the toilet seat, the floor, the ceiling, your hair, electrical outlets, your neighbour's roses, the alleyway, and airplanes flying over your house.

I just got a covid vaccine and now I can see the future.

#tbt in my Reptilian Poison Ivy cosplay. #PoisonIvy #DC #Burlesque