@myerspants.bsky.social
A dad joke a day, keeps the darkness at bay
I was cooking bacon the other day and burned my hand. Doc took one look and said I had a 3rd degree. I don't even remember getting the first two!
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
What do cows like to read?
Cattle Logs
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
100 hundred years ago, two brothers claimed they could fly
They were Wright
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Studies show that you shouldn't brush your teeth with your left hand
They found toothbrush works much better
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts and recently been discovered.
Archeologist believe it may be the remains of Pharaoh Roche.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I was sitting here eating lunch when I realized that cottage cheese is not actually, in reality, a cheese.
It's just a curd to me!
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
My friend told me that my wife and daughter look like twins
I said, 'well, they were separated at birth'
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
If you don’t wear shoes would that technically make you sole-less?
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Did you know that the best tasting trees, if you are ever in a pinch, are pastry’s.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
No dad jokes for the next few days, I’ll be out camping.
It’s going to be in tents.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
It’s incredible that balloons have remained as cheap as they have, even though other items have risen in cost by more than 200% since their invention. Balloons have never cost more than 6 cents/balloon!
I guess that’s because balloons are made for inflation.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I like telling dad jokes.
But, then again, I am a groan man.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I had a kids meal at McDonald’s last night.
Their mom was pretty mad.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Do you know how programmers it takes to change a light bulb?
None, it’s a hardware problem
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Been trying to figure out how to fly.
Maybe I can just wing it.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I'm still angry at all my classmates from elementary school who voted me “Most Likely To Hold A Grudge”
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
What kind of bear likes the rain?
A drizzly bear.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I’m a little disappointed that Disneyland won’t announce what the acronym for Tiana’s Bayou Adventure is.
Every time anyone asks they just say “it’s TBA”
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife #disneyland #disney
I recently learned that firefighters, in addition to Dalmatians, are known to keep ants around to help fight fires.
I almost always see them with hydr-ants
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Canonically Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker share a love of second hand stores.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I thought I heard music coming out of my printer last night. Turns out it was jamming.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Wish me luck today. I have to have a serious talk with my office chair.
I feel it no longer supports me.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I forgot to pay my scrabble bill.
Now all I get are threatening letters, I am honestly with out words.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I recently learned that Yoda’s last name is Layheewhoo
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
I am now convinced that the earth is flat. I went to the ocean and not a drop of it was carbonated!
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Did you the reason ducks have tails is to cover their butt-quacks
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Bigfoot frequently gets confused for Sasquatch.
Yeti never complains.
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to any aliens.
They are naming it Apollo G
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
Fun fact: every horse in the 2025 Kentucky Derby traces back to Secretariat!
Honestly it is blatant case of Neighpotism
#dadjoke #badjoke #funny #dadlife
