Nintendo Facts I Just Made Up

Every year, Nintendo loses out on millions of sales thanks to Santa giving their games away. All cease-and-desist letters have failed to reach Santa's Workshop in the North Pole.

"If we go out of business, blame the fat man in the red suit," said Nintendo in a press release detailing their struggle

The European name for Game Boy's The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening was The Legend of Zelda: Link Wakes Up a Giant Fish. It was changed to match the American and Japanese name for the Switch remake.

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Nintendo of America President and COO Doug Bowser exclusively refers to his son as "Bowser Jr."

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Super Mario 128 was going to be the first online battle royale game for the GameCube before it was unceremoniously canceled. It would have featured 128 different versions of Mario to choose from, all representing different universes.

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When the Wii U first launched, the GamePad camera was set to be on 24/7 by default. This meant it was possible for someone with access to Nintendo's online servers to view a livestream of a player's home at any moment.

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Wii Sports was never intended to be a pack-in title for the Wii. Then-Nintendo of America President, Reggie Fils-Aime, personally opened up each Wii box before shipment to make the system more enticing for Americans. He claims to have been sleep-deprived for years after launch.

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Did you know that Metroid is a metaphor for the human body fighting off an illness? Kraid and Ridley represent viruses. Samus represents a pill (hence the suit and ability to become a small ball). And Mother Brain represents, well, the brain.

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Unique to SimCity for Super NES is the chance of Bowser showing up as a monster attack. Other disasters scrapped in development included Mario setting the city on fire with a fire flower power-up and Ryu using tatsumaki to spawn a tornado. A Game Genie can restore these to the game.

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The only video game Pope Francis ever owned in his lifetime was Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars for the Nintendo DS.

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In Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix, there's a hidden track that is almost impossible to find normally. If you fail the song "Always Smiling" in story mode and then achieve an A rank on it immediately after, you'll unlock a dance remix of "Gold Digger" by Kanye West.

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"1080° Snowboarding" for the Nintendo 64 was going to be named "360° Snowboarding," but Microsoft had already acquired the trademark for any video game products with "360°" in the name. Amazingly, this was despite being 7 years before the Xbox 360 came out and 3 years before the original Xbox.

Did you know that every "Super Mario" game in the series is known as "Super Mario Bros." in Japan? That means the games are actually called "Super Mario Bros. 64," "Super Mario Bros. Odyssey," etc. This is despite the fact that Luigi is often not in these games.

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Mario Hoops 3-on-3 is the highest selling game Square Enix has ever developed for a Nintendo system. The company has been so humiliated by this fact that they refuse to ever work with Nintendo again.

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You have higher odds of winning the lottery than winning against a "Hard" CPU Luigi in Mario Party 2.

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In Japan, the Pokémon games are not split into two versions like Red and Blue or Gold and Silver. They are only split up for American audiences because Game Freak knows Americans will waste their money on anything.

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Pilotwings Resort states that guests are only allowed to drive electric vehicles on Wuhu Island. Earlier in the series, in Wii Sports Resort, this was phrased as "only electric vehicles are allowed on the island". However, in Mario Kart 7, Mario Kart races take place on the island where the racers all use gas vehicles. This suggests that Mario gained special pollution privileges for his Mario Kart activities. Source: @HEYimHeroic

In the Wii series games, Wuhu Island is committed to clean air by only allowing electric vehicles. However, in Mario Kart 7, gas vehicles are used in the races. This implies that Mario made a deal with the Wuhu Island administration to receive exclusive pollution privileges.

Nintendo was unable to include gay relationships in Tomodachi Life for the 3DS due to a little-known Japanese law prohibiting gay relations between humanoid characters in interactive media. The law was since repealed, so the sequel should be free to include latent homosexuality.

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Did you know that the first Nintendo game to feature voice acting was the Japanese version of Donkey Kong 3? Orson Welles was hired to explain the plot of the game between each stage. These clips were scrapped for the North American release due to licensing disputes.

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Nintendo has completed HD ports of Twilight Princess, Wind Waker, and even Ocarina of Time 3D for the Switch system. However, the final code is kept behind a glass case labeled "BREAK IN CASE OF WII U-LEVEL EMERGENCY." It is believed the games will thus never see release.

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The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was originally meant to be a licensed game based on the novel Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Nintendo surrendered the rights to the license after their engine failed to accurately render Edward Cullen's sparkle.

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Playing as a Mii named Satoru or 聡 in any Nintendo-published game will grant the user additional power-ups or points. This is likely a reference to former Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata.

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Did you know that Mario wears red because he is part of the Communist Party?

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If you die 99 times or more in Super Mario Bros. for the NES, you unlock a secret bad ending in which you fail to rescue the princess. After defeating Bowser for the final time, this text appears on screen: "THE PRINCESS HAS DIED. TERROR REIGNS SUPREME. GAME IS OVER."

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Charles Martinet, the original voice of Mario, had never heard of Italy or Italians when he came up with Mario's voice. Any resemblance to actual or stereotypical Italian accents was pure coincidence.

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Did you know that Paul McCartney wrote some original music for Paper Mario: Sticker Star? They remained part of the game until Shigeru Miyamoto famously pressured the development team to scrap most of what they'd already made.

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The cutscenes in modern Pokémon games are actually fully voiced. They're just impossible for humans to hear because they're at a frequency only perceptible to dogs.

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Everybody in The Legend of Zelda series is actually quite smelly because deodorant was never invented in any of the timelines.

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Hidden in Mario Kart Wii's code are assets for an unlockable character that went unused. Though the assets are incomplete, they indicate that at one point, Dr. Seuss's the Grinch was planned for the game.

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Despite humanity's best efforts, none have ever beaten Kirby's Adventure for the NES.

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Did you know that Elon Musk offered to buy Nintendo just before he bought Twitter? He met privately with Shigeru Miyamoto and President Shuntaro Furukawa at Gamescom 2022.

Musk ended up offending the two so badly that Miyamoto brought out his katana and ordered him to leave immediately.

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