maxine nixon philips

i have a lot of nightmares about my brakes not working

someones gotta die

youre basically not allowed to touch anyone or do anything. because of woke.

i dont think phones should be touchscreen

YouTube video by peeb1998 montagex64

youtu.be/Ci8ssi5kTfw?...

all self-serious fiction causes me extreme embarrasment to read back the second after i have written it

a sundress is genuinely a ideological signifier and one that would get you lynched in a reasonable society

in middle school i got suplexed by my history teacher for saying bazinga in a silent classroom

rattling the bars on the closed Subway Eat Fresh until they let me in

telling guy checking my recipt at walmart about how "i need calories" because its "pawg summer"

playing Strip Kahoot

avarage penis i might as well just let/encourage it wither

id like some smirnoff ice for maxine please

it doesnt matter what you watch as a kid. childrens media is designed to fuck you up

it probably feel so good to gnaw on your leg as a dog

"water pressure aint nothing to me man" as flesh is stripped from bone

im running for nebraska governer my campaign promise is to secede from the united states and then i will run for president of nebraska

the armed branch of the USGS

i would do nigh anything to have dilberts job

reels

ohmygawhd the sky is so blue im #BLUESKY ing the fuck out of athletic shorts atm