jake4k

Bluesky really captures the essence of tweeting in 2014 to an audience of Nobody At All

biweekly payday:

week 1: balling out at chick-fil-a
week 2: reading multiple self-help books about the modern Japanese minimalism movement and how I don’t actually need material possessions

coffee so strong i need a surge protector for my central nervous system

Acknowledge Passage of Time
OK | REMIND ME LATER

I may not have money but I am rich in ideas

update: this worked.

okay tomorrow I get my life together, I’ve decided

if you're not already using privacy.com for everything, you're a peon. i look down on you

These evil MFrs would charge you for a cool fall breeze if they could.

no kings! except the king reading this

they're calling me the Shohei Ohtani of having bad posture

going to start saying "that's tickled" instead of "that's funny"

that shit got me tickled bro

who up rustling they jimmies

I heard that ICE is targeting white guys in their late 20s with Norwood 3's now and I think I'm going to have a panic attack

thinking about comparing some apples to some oranges

i want only 10 followers and every single one of them to be dreaming up ways to season and cook me

are.na is a cool website. wish I knew how to use it properly

Artwork by Laura Makabresku of a deer drinking out of a bowl held by a woman in a white dress.

how it feels feeding a wild raccoon a used Zyn from your hands at 4am

new handle

jake4k.lol is now jake4k.com

serious business here only

my wife tells me all the time that most women are actually afraid of average/large penises. it's true

big things happening on reddit

they hate to see a white boy ball out at uniqlo

Right wing grifting must be so fun if you’re a dipshit

for whomstd the bell tolls

I thought Zionism was a Jamaican thing for a few years

🚨 BREAKING: Senator Marco Rubio announces conversion to the Hindu tradition of Vaishnavism, intends to seek liberation from saṃsāra by Q3 of the 2026 fiscal year.

in the marketplace of ideas, not all opinions hold equal weight. my views, typically being correct and grounded in reality, turn pebble-brained discourse into a meeting of the minds. that brings us to our next slide, titled "Powerball Manipulation for the Soon-to-Be Millionaire"

my first ever Twitch stream was a massive success, pulling in 47k concurrent viewers at its peak. they’re calling me the Muammar Gaddafi of live streaming offshore online casino blackjack

who won't me