Mike Sweeney

DOJ has already hired them to be election observers.

"You hang up first!"
"No, *you* hang up first!"

Some good stuff here.

- LOOK AT velvet rope
- It's a rope made of velvet.
- PICK UP velvet rope
- You can't do that.

"The password is 'Fidelio.'"

"Nothing war can happen, it can only peace happen."

What are the odds he thinks it's *literally* invisible, like a Klingon warship? Pretty good, I'd say.

"I would rather watch well-developed characters, like what you see in foreign films."

Ah yes. Foreign films. So well known for their lack of sex.

Christian persecution in America is best defined by this image: No actual struggle, wearing clothes that cost more than my entire wardrobe, polished cross instead of rugged, and surrounded by crowds of fellow hypocrites cheering on bigotry who believe they're the victims.

Mitochondria-based grift is the powerhouse of the sell.

Update from Patel and Bongino:

MAXIMUM LETHALITY starring Mark Dacascos, Cynthia Rothrock, and Eric Roberts (direct to VHS, 1993).

Tom Clancy's Naked

When he doesn't win the Nobel, they're gonna make up an award and call it the American Peace Medal or some shit and give it to him so the toddler can have his Happy Meal toy and he's gonna ramble on about how it's more prestigious than the Nobel quite frankly and that Obama doesn't have one.

I believe this is what Jimmy Malone called a blood oath.

Every time he opens his mouth, it sounds like something out of those G.I. JOE P.S.A. parodies.

BO-GUS!

This is what I like to see! Huzzah!

THE BIG SLEEP by Raymond Chandler

Philip Marlowe shows his signature wry disdain for the Scriptshadows of 1939. The more things change...

They don't know how good they've got it when you're bringing 'em something, pal. Their loss.

BREAKING: Cardinal Pizzaballa has entered the transfer portal.

Carmy yelling while cooking in THE BEAR.

Meanwhile, in the Vatican kitchen...

Remember, if the new pope comes out and sees his shadow, we get six more weeks of Lent.

It's giving me chills how much this matches the images I've held in my head for the last 35 years.

I'd watch an entire ANDOR spinoff about Syril's mom and her hoity-toity friends. GOLDEN GIRLS on Coruscant.

Hegseth Said to Have Shared Attack Details in Second Signal Chat The defense secretary sent sensitive information about strikes in Yemen to an encrypted group chat that included his wife and brother, people familiar with the matter said.

In a normal world, this dude would be manning a radar tower in Alaska by now.

I have a joke about the Minotaur and it's bound to amaze.

2025: "It's the *Final* Reckoning, guys, we swear..."

2027: "Somehow, Ethan Hunt returned..."

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