Cat ✨

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY FALL ASLEEP DURING LOTR

Today was a day of a bunch of minor inconveniences that added up to me getting wine drunk and eating fried chicken

GOOD

You just made my husband almost pee himself. Also, his hair gets silkier

Shawn is proud of them

If I tell you I’m allergic to peanuts and you proceed to open and eat a bag of peanuts at the table I’m currently eating at, you are dead to me

Did you pass out

I spoke too soon. A customer took all the toilet paper we had and shoved the rolls in the toilets (:

Don’t worry guys, I got 4 hours of sleep instead of two last night, I have coffee, the world is well

a manager that’s normally mean to me has been so nice today 🥹

IF ONE MORE MF BUG CRAWLS OUT OF SOMETHING IM HOLDING OR LANDS ON ME AT WORK IM LEAVING

My work knows how to make me mad and get away with it and I’m so tired of it

Raspberry!

girl holding coffee

acquired 💕💕

My sleep time of 2 hours and 48 minutes

NOBODY MESS WITH ME TODAY

How are people supposed to get jobs if every job required experience? Don’t call your job listing “entry level” if you want years of experience.

does anyone have any Xbox game recommendations? 🥹

Or is it lust or gluttony

I TAKE A POTATO CHIP

AND EAT IT

your digital footprint literally now shows admittance of guilt and pre-meditation already

if you punch buggy my wifey without a bug being present just know that my degree is in forensics.

I think you would do it even if there wasn’t a bug

was it ro, that sounds ro-like

Yeah, no soap. And clean the sink and surrounding counter afterwards

Usually with water

I trust you

If you don’t wash your chicken, I don’t trust you.

Mine are about to nuke mine :(

love opening shifts but hate not being able to sleep right before an opening shift

ABBA prefers the term ✨fluffy✨