Laura ◡̈

Telling a man he argues like a republican (derogatory) >>>>

Trying to convince my parents to get a squatty potty or something similar

Backboard + trick shot = back shot

Hi

Why are all the hot guys gay?!

Oh what’s my favorite sport? Watching men compete for my love.

Tomorrow’s workday is sponsored by (store brand) Sudafed.

If your body makes insulin for free but you believe diabetics should pay hundreds of dollars for insulin to stay alive, congratulations - you’re an ableist asshat.

Insulin should be free to diabetics like it is for everyone else.

Happy Wednesday!

In honor of Women’s History Month, I ghosted every guy I was talking to 🫶🏻

You got a smart ass mouth for a bitch with no lips

I want men to fear me, and women to love me

I had a dream last night that some random man gave me $50,000 in cash ($10 bills for some reason) and said it was because I won a contest because I had my oil changed recently. Can someone interpret this for me 😂😂😂

What kind of coffee pairs best with psychological warfare?

DND: building my RedNote fyp all day.

IUDs are not for the weak 🥵

a bunny calico critter with books in front of them. there’s text that reads “i am full of useless information.”

gm

Is it crazy to believe that starting an SSRI has allowed me to utilize more of my brain capacity? I feel way smarter

“Beauty sleep” is a myth. Only way I know I had good sleep is when I wake up disheveled and ugly 😂😂😂

TMI means “tell me immediately” not “too much information”

There are no secrets in this house 🤭

WAKE-UP AMERICA 🇺🇸

Nothing more beautiful than the rumble of snowplows plowing my side street before everyone else’s 😂 this never happens and I’m so thankful 🫶🏻

Boys that live below me made steak and it smells so good. They didn’t offer me any 🥲 I’m so sad

I wonder if we’ll get “cost of tariff” raises next year.

*cue Ariana saying “don’t make me laugh”

💩💩💩

As a businessman, Donald Trump bankrupted his business.

As a President, Trump will bankrupt America with his tariffs.

Also I turned 30 last week and haven’t felt the same since 😂🥲🪦