Sam NeSmith

BREAKING: every Republican has died

The president needs your help! He's collecting diarrhea for his plane. He has a plane that's 99% toilet with other people's diarrhea in it and he wears a little crown when he drives it around. Brave patriots please send your loose stool to your favorite diarrhea president for his diarrhea plane.

This is truly devastating 😭

How’s the top of my head tho

So you’ve got a berry guy!

Really doing numbers

When I lovingly made fun of him for getting 1 like on this, @mcfunley.com said “whatever man, I don’t do it for the likes, I’m a true poster!” And reader, that’s why I married him.

This happened to me too yesterday!!

We’re going through so much and now they made the Cracker Barrel ugly 🥲

"None Of These Books Are Obscene": Judge Strikes Down Much of Florida's Book Ban Bill In a major win for intellectual freedom, a judge rules against Florida law that led to removing hundreds of books from school libraries.

bookriot.com/penguin-rand...

I’ll wear my back brace when we come over

Just a little inside baseball 😄

Lost a few punk points when he said this out loud and then said, “gonna skeet this”

I think that if you were not familiar with the supposed political values of the Democratic Party, its performance over the last five months would lead you to conclude that they are primarily a pro-genocide party with center right economics and a fierce commitment to loyalty and gate keeping.

Read this whole thread like this

Hey Ben what was John Lewis known for? What is this book about?

Ben Chestnut made $6B pretending to be progressive so that his employees would buy into his cult without demanding equity. Honestly the worst part about it is that he has nothing better to do with his life now than punch down on the social network for bland airheads (LinkedIn).

Am I… a dad?

Yeah it's really something to see a U.S. senator being hit with the same impossible compliance demands that the cops scream at people before shooting them during a stop

The 2026 Federal Budget Proposal Shutters The Institute for Museum and Library Services The details of the 2026 federal budget proposal spell out the goal of shutting down the Institute for Museum and Library services.

We now have the details of the federal 2026 budget proposal, and it spells the end of IMLS. The request is $6,000,000 to "conduct an orderly closeout of IMLS."

Whatever happens in the 2 court cases would be moot if this passes.

bookriot.com/the-2026-fed...

It’s so nice to be reunited with old friends 😄

lol just found you on Bluesky via this skeet (ew). Hi Austin!

@primary.every.democrat

We’ve waited long enough, Joe Wright make a Persuasion movie right now

PhD Timeline xkcd.com/3081

A picture of Oreo churros with a comment that says “why you boiling dew dew in tinkle tho”

Tik Tok they could never make me hate you

Tradition states that last night Jesus emptied out all the jails. Spent Saturday night telling people “I don’t care what you did, people weren’t made for prisons.” The next day to prove His point He broke out of solitary. It is finished. Easter is incompatible with the carceral state. Happy Easter.

Dogs love a job and cats do not dream of labor

yeah man, please make my 85 year
old great aunt prove her citizenship to vote in rural georgia, this definitely isn’t reminiscent of anything in the american past

Absolutely perfect