Jordan

It's time for Yankees baseball.

Might gain 100 lbs on this tonsillectomy diet

this is INSANE

Matt Chapman is the 3rd baseman for the Giants so the whole 3rd base dispute will still be a thing.

Trading their franchise player to prove a point? Hilarious.

The itemized list

1) Amtrak replacement ticket because I realized when getting to the station I got tickets to the wrong train: $91

2) locksmith to let me into my apartment because I left my keys in Long Island: $178

My ADHD this weekend cost me $269.

Fuck right off with this

It's wild that showing emotion as a man was seen as “gay” growing up, and once people come out instead of being like “oh now that I’m gay I have nothing to lose by showing emotions” it’s “oh now that I’m gay I can dye my hair green and be a cunt to everyone”

🥹🙏🫠

Had a whole ass rom com weekend with the cutest boy and the whoosh back to reality is HITTING

Are the gays about to be into Turnstile? I sure hope so 🙏🙏

The year of our lord 2025 and hotel keys still get deactivated by being placed next to cell phones

Picked an awful time to fall in love with someone

I paid what like 40 grand for this diploma? and it's an extra $18 to download it as a PDF?

You’re gonna crush it

Every video of a Coachella set has the LAMEST crowd regardless of the artist omg

Is Wilton manors just like a gay parking lot? Where am I?

It’s a curse

The first person I saw in Florida was an old lady at the airport pickup yelling at her Uber driver “what language do you even speak”

Embarrassing!!!

The block that I live on now has three arcades and zero supermarkets

dude looked absolutely disgusting. Must be signed when he becomes a free agent idc how stacked our pitching is.

Wow 5 games into the season and the yankees suck already

Baseball twitter still reigns supreme unfortunately :(

Watched MacGruber last night and looked up who played the villain and that’s how I found out Val Kilmer died 30 minutes after it was announced. 😵‍💫

Just woke up from a dream where everyone’s Grindr profile had a star rating.

when someone doesn't answer me on Grindr, I hit them with the "omg you're the (x name) everyone's talking about" and it has a 100% response rate bc the gays are all self absorbed. you're welcome for the tip.

13TH AND CHESTNUT FRUIT LADY IS BACK 🚨🚨🚨

OMG HOW DO I FIND IT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

already forgot his name (un)fortuantely

I said to meet me at the vous and said it was a great place and when he got there and sat down he said "this is the great place you were talking about? it's just a regular dive bar."