chris

When you’re on vacation, at least 1 photo of your story every 24 hours needs to include a photo of yourself

the best part of air travel is the 6-10 hours of uninterrupted screen time u get to have ‼️🙌👏

the four martinis to afters pipeline 📈📈📈📈📉

4, even

it is apparently legal to order 3 martinis at the bar

I was in the winter of my life… and my body was tea

Let’s hang when I’m back in Austin diva!!

traitors this season being the khia asylum flops seizing the means of production from the actual celebs is very funny

I won a raffle tonight because I’m pure of heart and also because I survived a martini from Akbar

An Akbar martini and Del taco >>>>>>>

the concept of adopting the male cat named tea.... my soul sister

nobody in this los angeles coworking space saying bless u when i sneezed

Tea!!! I feel like the sleeve only party girl fur jackets are more functional

darksided amount of men in vests on every Austin to Los Angeles flight

The sex worker industry must normalize the big plastic sheets to put down on couches and cars!!

hi bich

I am incredibly sex positive until someone posts a video of them jacking off and leaking cum onto a couch I’ve sat on

The family guy “I did not care for the godfather” scene but it’s me talking about Frieren to a group of gay guys

the two chicest ways to get heavy metal poisoning are 1) living in salt lake city and 2) eating too much cinnamon

Some pet name ideas:
Skyrizi
D’eva
Chlamydia
Militia Ethridge

this is what using Olay body wash feels like

I promise she looks better irl but I painted squirrel girl today

what does this mean and how is it measured

it’s getting weird…

this is a safe space to admit that for a large portion of my adult life I thought the line in waterfalls by TLC that says “3 letters took him to his final resting place” was referring to G-U-N

these remain the two cuntiest divas of arcade history

discord needs a "i do not want my posts seen by europeans" privacy option

you see your skinny bf with warby parker glasses walking into the bathroom with a square of aluminum foil and a lighter, is he:

A) freebasing cocaine
B) fixing a tunneled candle
C) all of the above

Also in this round

briefly activated god mode tonight at my local