Gabe Evans' Cow

I just realized who Alina Habba reminds me of…

In a world of chickens (like Gabe Evans) - be a COW!

Moo!

#CO08
Greeley
Northglenn

Why do we never see my owner #GabeEvans out meeting and serving the people in #CO08?

You would never see him volunteering at a food pantry - not after he voted to gut SNAP and Medicaid benefits for working families.

Almost a year in Congress and NOT ONE in-person town hall.

Moo!

Greeley
#coleg

Wait…what!

Feeding beef to turkeys?!

That’s an insult to us cows…

Moo!

For instance - did he really work on cases involving sex offenders and human trafficking?

@denverpost.com
@coloradonewsline.com
@cprnews.bsky.social
@coloradotimesrecorder.com
@kylec.bsky.social
@nexton9news.bsky.social
@coloradosun.bsky.social
@yellowscenemag.bsky.social
@greeleytribune.com

Moo!

Gabe Evans talks a lot about his former life as a police officer (see below). However - we know from past reporting that he has embellished his past quite a bit.

Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.

#GabeEvans
#CO08

The President of the United States just called for my arrest and execution.

In these moments, fear is contagious, but so is courage:

That was very disappointing - for someone who constantly touts his law enforcement background, Gabe‘s silence on the pardons of the J6 felons was DEAFENING.

My expectations were already low - but that was when we knew he was more interested in cow-towing to Trump than representing CO.

Moo!

Statement from Gabe Evans on voting for the bill to release DOJ’s Epstein files.

Gabe Evans on his vote to have DOJ release the Epstein files.

Sounds great - until you think about how he didn’t sign on to the discharge petition until AFTER the shutdown and AFTER Trump allowed Republicans to do so.

Not exactly a profile in courage, is it???

Moo!

#copolitics
#CO08
NOCO

The liar Rep. Gabe Evans has got kids - "...they're hungry", but works to make sure other kids go hungry by witholding SNAP benefits.

Polis to Gabe Evans - “But keep doing you and voting to take health care away from Coloradans”

OUCH!

I don’t think I’ve seen this level of fire from @colorado.gov before - I like it!

Double Moo! for that one Guv’na

#GabeEvans
#copolitics
#CO08
Greeley

That is correct, Stan. I have to admit - I’m rooting for whoever the Democratic nominee turns out to be.

Cows are typically very loyal beings - but in this case, I’ll make an exception.

Moo!

#GabeEvans
#CO-08
Greeley
#copolitics

It must be "Pig Day" on Bluesky...

We cows demand equal time! When is "Cow Day"???

Moo!

#PiggyTrump

Cows (like me) have only have one stomach, however, that stomach is divided into 4 compartments: rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum.

I just threw up from all four compartments.

That's just gross. Accurate - but gross...

Moo!

#PiggyTrump

"To stop the fattest pig, take away the trough."

#USDemocracy

I've known several pigs during my time in the barnyard and they are generally very nice.

However, that nasty pig below is giving all pigs a bad name.

Moo!

#PiggyTrump

I'm just a cow in the generic sense, depending on the post
😁 🐮

Shannon Bird on stage with fellow Colorado legislators at a panel hosted by the Colorado Solar & Storage Association.

Loved joining a bipartisan panel of legislators with the CO Solar & Storage Assoc.

We need cheap, reliable energy, but Gabe Evans voted to take a wrecking ball to #CO08's clean energy sector – killing jobs & risking higher utility bills.

I"ll always protect jobs & work to lower utility costs.

Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption WASHINGTON—Marveling at the childlike innocence and naïveté on display from their first-term colleague, members of the U.S. House of Representatives confirmed Wednesday that freshman congressman Gabe ...

Gabe Evans makes @theonion.com - Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption — theonion.com/freshman-con...

Yes - where are you Gabe? My stall in the barn needs to be mucked out.

I'm used to being knee-deep in bullshit when you're around - but not my own.

Moo!

WHERE ARE YOU GABE EVANS PETITION DELIVERY AND PRESENTATION WE HAVE HAD A PETITION GOING AROUND TO STOP THE FOR PROFIT ICE DETENTION CENTER IN HUDSON COLORADO, YES, HERE IN WELD COUNTY. SCAN MEI NOW WE DEMAND ANSWERS NOV 2025 @10AM Friday Greeley District Office 3400 West 16th St, Building 1S Suite C Greeley, CO 80634 Phone: (970) 324-2567 PLEASE JOIN US IN DELIVERING AND DEMANDING ANSWERS FROM OUR REPRESENTATIVES, IT'S TIME TO SAY NO CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN COLORADO Thank you.

Hey! That's one of my ex-girlfriends.

Well - this is awkward....

Hey girl - if you find your way up near Gabe Evans' ranchette in Fort Lupton - you know.... call me...

Moo!

NOCO

As Gabe Evans' cow - I can tell you that he doesn't care about healthcare for hard-working Coloradans - he's got his fancy Congressional health insurance.

He makes me pay my own veterinary bills - why do you think I'm moooonlighting???

Moodicare for All!

NOCO
#copolitics
@indivisiblenoco.com

So I guess all I am to Gabe Evans is a "hobby". Sheesh...

Sorry to hear that Daddy Gabe is soooo poor. Probably that big, expensive, gas-guzzling truck he drives around.

It ain't me - all I get is hay.

Moo!

Greeley
#copolitics
@twni-indivisible.bsky.social
@greeleyweldindiv.bsky.social

'All Hat No Cattle'? Congressman Raises a 'Few Cows' As a Hobby, And Says It's Legitimate To Promote Himself in Politics As a 'Rancher' In May, Patrick Henry College founder Michael Farris introduced the school's 2025 commencement speaker, U.S. Rep. Gabe Evans (R-CO) and his wife, as the "owners and operators of a family...

He is a cosplay farmer/rancher - just like my owner - Rep. Gabe Evans (CO-08) - who bought me just so that he can claim to be a rancher:

coloradotimesrecorder.com/2025/06/all-...

#NOCO
Greeley
#copolitics

Moo!

It is true @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social - I am an ILLEGAL COW.

Here is my story:

bsky.app/profile/gabe...

I have also been taking Moodicaid benefits away from white American cows…

Sincerely,
Gabe Evans’ Cow

Moo!

We were then picked up by “coyotes“ with a cattle truck and smuggled up to Colorado where I was unwittingly bought at auction by Rep. Gabe Evans of Ft. Lupton. Since he didn‘t know the first thing about raising cattle, he enlisted a neighbor to take care of me.

I will self-deport.

Moo!

2/2

OK - you got me Secretary Bessent - I am an ILLEGAL COW.
I made the arduous journey across the Sonoran desert w/ my parents and siblings (two did not make it and ended up as Taco Bell meat filling). We then swam across the Rio Grande under the cover of darkness….

@treasurydept.bsky.social

1/2

Apparently, “Bovino” is Italian for “cow”.

What is the Italian word for “pathetic little incel douchebag”?

Asking on behalf of cows everywhere.

Moo!

@michaelfanone.bsky.social is my kind of human

Moo!