gay vampire apologist ♿️

I keep forgetting I have this account 😳

Who was gonna tell me that sleeping with a pregnancy pillow would actually prevent my almost nightly subluxations/ dislocations? Last night was the best sleep I’ve had in years and it’s all because I slept on a massive U-shaped pillow. Is this how people without hEDS sleep?! Wow

A black one of a kind art doll with long blue hair styled in twists. She is wearing pink tie dye overalls and a black and white striped turtle neck. She had red lipstick and heavy blush with gold eyeshadow and black eyes.

I think I’m also gonna redo this blue haired doll now that I found a less fragile and more diverse skin tone brand of doll clay. I rushed her for a class and she’s ROUGH. She could be wayyyy cuter. Mixing the skin tone myself was torture and took far too long that it left less time for sculpting 😢

I’m thinking of changing the way I make my dolls. I think I’m gonna move away from full body armature and go towards a separate stuffed torso with a sculpted head and bust with ball jointed limbs. It doesn’t make a difference time wise but it makes sculpting easier 🤔

I love that when my former grad school classmates have questions about autism and resources they immediately reach out to me. It makes me feel valued and able to help more people 🥰

And I finished. I may not be Catholic anymore but damn do they go hard with aesthetics

And after I had a borderline panic attack the other day and a massive meltdown last week I felt like I needed an extra coping tool. I found my Nonna’s chaplet and felt very comforted by it, but it’s very old and fragile so I’m making my own.

An in progress photo of a mini rosary being made. It consists of blue and white beads connected by gold chain links.

Not me deciding to hand make a chaplet rosary because autism special interest reasons. I don’t even believe in Catholicism anymore but I love ritual and folk belief and my crystal loving ass decided I needed a sodalite rosary so I can physically ground during stress… I need an external thing idk

Happy birthday 🥰

They don’t need to unpack their biases/ learn from marginalized people because they’re “helping people. Its incredibly paternalistic and gross and I try so hard to constantly check myself and my biases bc I don’t wanna contribute to harm. There’s a power dynamic most ignore/ dont take seriously 2/2

As a therapist it shocked me at 1st how many of my fellow therapists were ableist but then I was like: of course they are! Its literally built into our education to perpetuate sanism, ableism, and racism. How my cohort and professors talked about ASD, ODD, BPD, schizoaffective 😡 they believe 1/2

I can’t stop thinking about the animated series on amc+ “Pantheon.” I watched the whole thing in 2 days and I can’t stop thinking about it. That shit was so fucking good. Why don’t more people know about it?! It deserves so much more love. It’s now in my top 5 shows of all time. 10/10 must watch

I need someone to text me to remind me to do things. I need another body in the room to feel settled while doing tasks with a lot of cognitive processing involved. And I know a lot of this is the ADHD but so many people treat it as a personality quirk and not a disability 😡 4/4

Feed myself if I lived on my own and she worries about me and my daily self care. She has ADHD too and struggles with executive functioning but not to the extent I do. And she’s so right, her fear of me accidentally starving is so valid. I feel like I need an assistant just to get thru each day 3/4

Without being repeatedly reminded. I forget to eat, go to the bathroom, clean, pay bills, make appointments. If something has too many little steps I get so overwhelmed I tend to just give up until it balloons into something even less doable. It sucks. My mom even said she doesn’t think I’d 2/4

As an auDHD person I actually hate how people minimize ADHD in comparison to autism. Both make my life difficult but I’ve learned how to accommodate my ASD very well. Its the combo auDHD executive functioning I find the most debilitating. Like I can not do most daily executive functioning tasks 1/4

I love that my supervisor also has ADHD. It’s so validating to hear from an established professional that she also gets extreme email anxiety and that she finds little tasks difficult vs handling clients crises. In the past this would’ve been minimized by people but now I’m understood 💗

Resistant to learning or making changes that will help everyone is baffling. If it was my kid I would learn everything I could and make our lives as accommodating as possible. I would do whatever was recommended to help them feel safe and succeed. I don’t get it and I feel so frustrated 😩 3/3

Their biases/ ableism. I’m a neurodivergent affirming/ ND-centered therapist & will always advocate for my clients being accommodated. Why do so many families think their child is the issue when it’s the family system & them not working with the kids brain? The amount of parents who are outright 2/3

I’m getting on here and yapping/ complaining. I love being an auDHD therapist working with auDHD kids but god working with the parents can be so fucking exhausting and frustrating. They want me to “fix” their kid when there’s nothing to fix and don’t want to do any work to accommodate or unpack 1/3

When I took trauma informed training and neurodivergence informed training , I was validated in my thoughts that some people need movement or sensory to regulate.

I want to be done, said I was done, but I still have so many mutuals and connections there that aren’t here or on other social media. I’ve been on there since 2009. It feels very weird to leave. I’m in limbo about it at the moment

I completely forgot about my “high fantasy maladaptive daydreaming” Pinterest board filled with hot women in armor with the “Gender?! At the Renaissance Faire” section that just has butch people in corsets and breeches. Iconic of me honestly. I have some very iconic Pinterest boards

Glass doll eyes with yellow-orange irises.

Eyeballs for those curious. They’re not 100% the right color but they’re close!

Okay so I bought the eyes and have acquired the correct shade of doll clay. Now my problem is the color of the dress fabric. It looks different depending on the lighting. I’m between baby blue and Robbin’s egg but idk! Help 🥺

Good thing abt being a neurodivergent therapist working with ND clients: I can use my life experience to help build systems that work with their brains & gain ND friendly coping strategies. Bad thing? I’m also struggling daily to get my executive functioning shit together. I feel like a hypocrite 😬

I just bought eyes for Claudia on impulse so we’re doing it! She’ll likely be done around the New Year if my motivation remains consistent 😊

The urge to sculpt a Delainey baby Lulu Claudia doll is brewing within me! I can just see it now, how cute she would be 😭 but I still haven’t finished my current custom doll of my cat as a little human girl so… maybe once I clean my studio I’ll finish and begin a Claudia one 🤔

I literally slept all day yesterday from the emotional/ mental fatigue of the past week & I’m somehow still exhausted?! I seriously contemplated canceling all my sessions today but tht would be a shitty thing to do. At least I have the next 2 days off. Time to rewatch iwtv for the 10th time