depression bug 🐛

and also they stop destroying poorer communities and driving up their electric prices to build more data centers that pollute the environment and drink absurd amounts of water. unfortunately that is not likely to happen w/o legislation, and. well. lmao

i don't like it, i don't want ai to be here to stay, but i also think that expecting it to 100% go away after a bubble burst is naive. i guess my hope is once the bubble bursts they stop shoving it down our throats and instead pivot to more specific use cases

been really enjoying hank green's videos on ai recently, and he pointed out that the dot com bubble burst and it was devastating but the internet is still a big part of our lives, and i feel like expecting that same but with ai is a very reasonable take.

it might be worth it to eat the tax penalties to diversify out of it but obviously i won't know until the ai bubble actually bursts, and when will the bubble burst? probably in the next few years but no one knows when (or if, but. fairly confident in that anyway)

to make more incriminating posts about myself. talked to my dad about my investments and it turns out a lot of it is in technology funds and to divest from those i would have to pay a big tax penalty. lmao i'm fucked

the question is when i get out of here do i drive myself home or to the hospital to commit myself bc genuinely i have never felt worse

you could argue that being too ill to work, no matter what that illness is, is an "emergency". but spending emergency funds on a ffxiv sub is stupid lbr

but this account also means i cannot receive disability, and i can never receive disability unless the money is gone. so even while my parents will support me w basic needs and i have money that can support other things it just feels. really stupid

putting this here bc. yeah.

i have money in an investment account that my dad made when i was younger. it is, quite frankly, a huge amount of money to me that ideally i'd like to put towards a house or a car or emergency bills in the future. it feels like a waste to spend it on other things.

i cannot. i am so. aaaaaaaaaaaaa

i also dont have a degree so. lol. lmao.

i think i'd need an official autism diagnosis to qualify for employment assistance through any autistic advocacy groups which on one hand is something i do want eventually but on the other i do not want it in the current Political Climate™

TODAY is october 6th. ughhhhrgenjfkaoejxmwidndoencn

also interacting with people sucks. "the document was uploaded on october 6th you already have it" yeah because the other person uploaded it after i asked for it again

i think my problem is that i have no worthwhile skills to speak of and all my flaws and mental illness make me bad at jobs that dont require much akill

do jobs where you dont have to talk to people even exist. what the fuck am i supposed to do for work if i cannot even do this

incredible how a month ago i was feeling super confident and accomplished about the job and now i feel like i am in fact going to perish every single day of the workweek

okay i emailed my therapist hopefully she has availability before thursday or i might explode

i legitimately cannot do this today but i cannot go home without looking extremely bad but i feel like im about to have a panic attack

im also really really really sleepy

and if i think this is bad there is no way i will survive tax season

im just so overwhelmed and overstimulated that it's unreal. i have too much stuff that needs doing and anxiety about doing it and i want to die

and to decide this now halfway through is probably putting the nails in the coffin myself but. if im so unhappy surely it cant be a bad thing

i am definitely being let go after my three month probationary period. like there is no way they are keeping me

oh nvm i can look at the feed bc i muted the post. self-sabatoge failed

im like rfk jr in that i have worms in my brain and they make me think bad things. im not like rfk jr in everything else

man. cant look at the wo/lqotd feed for a few days bc im gonna see the other q and get upset again. it's already in my system and in my head there is no removing the brainworm

two more hours. both the crying headache and the period cramps are intensifying. i want to go home

at least the new flavor of granola for my yogurt is good. it has chocolate and cashews.

so instead of burdening one person i burden everyone who follows me. i make so much sense