Jesse (🐊’s kitten)

I don’t understand why Heidi’s favorite time to eat is consistently around midnight these days, but whatever floats her goat. Just wakin up at midnight, scarfing down her food, and going back to bed.

for years ive been obsessed with this dumbass life hack video with the most insane music ive ever heard but could never find it again. always thought about it randomly periodically. i just found it in my downloads folder from 2021 titled a.mp4 while cleaning out my computer and i am so happy

Obviously I will eat the leftovers though so it was worth all the effort without a doubt. I’m so proud of that rosa sauce I made too. Most of the ingredients were just leftover stuff I had and needed to use.

A picture of said meal.

Made myself a feast tonight of cheese tortellini with a rosa sauce (that I made from a roux and then just adding shit until I liked it), some roast chicken, and the only bread I had was croissants so I put some garlic butter on one.

It was soooo good dude. I couldn’t even eat half of it though.

going nonverbal at the party and just doing this in the corner until I can leave

Meryl, fists on her hips and chin high, is gently scolding a bashful Milly, who’s wearing a tight blazer, shirt ready to pop out, pencil skirt and pointy high heels. “ “Milly”, that’s right?” “Yes Ma’am!” “You know we’re on the field and not the office, right?” “Yes Ma’am!” “And you like wearing those heels?” “No Ma’am!” “Then tomorrow, wear clothes you’re comfortable in, ok?” “Yes Ma’am!” “And please, call me Meryl!” “Yes Ma’am!”

Milly in a looser white shirt and red tie, smiling confidently with her stun-gun on her shoulder. One of her sleeves is rolled up to reveal a muscular forearm.

First day at work
#Trigun

“We will be as gods! Rulers of the galaxy!” Your only pokemon is a zubat.

The evil teams in every pokemon game all have different vibes, but imo Team Galactic is the dweebiest pack of god damn nerds I ever laid eyes on.

“You wanna mess with me?” Yeah I want to give you a swirly. You deserve an ass kicking for being such a fucking loser. Lol.

tweet from user camellia_ayin replying to rize_illustrator. the tweet is in japanese and the translation reads "A man will either cross-dress zero times or an infinite number of times"

there is a Japanese saying:

Made a French dip sandwich using a croissant as the bread and my GOD. Y’all should try this.

“WAFFLES”

Heidi must, on some level, be aware that her gentle snoring brings me comfort. It would explain why, once she realizes I’m going to bed, she MUST come in here and sleep next to me like it’s a sacred duty. But then, once I’m sound asleep, she often relocates to her favorite spot by the back door.

It’s just that I always thought that the reason I never liked 4th and 5th gen were because 3rd gen were my favorite and I didn’t like the new thing after that. But I really need to just accept that I think these games are bad in many ways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I hope to still finish this playthrough though.

My most recent attempt at finally getting through Brilliant Diamond is going well and I’m having fun, but I still have beef with this game lmao. DP/BDSP really might be my least favorite mainline Pokemon games by a mile, sorry.

Do not let that Duol*ngo anime announcement cause you to forget that they laid off almost all their contractors and replaced them with AI :)

Joke involving inuendo. Vegeta just arrived on Earth in his saiyan saga form and it's with Nappa, exiting the space pods. Vegeta: earthlings have no idea of the pounding that awaits them! Earthling: finally!

things didnt go according to plan anywayy #dragonball

Normal people should be able to send their electric bill to people who make or enjoy AI slop, not my circus, not my monkeys

Past me surprised present me with a cute little treat from the bakery that I ordered with my groceries and promptly forgot about. 🥹

Wikihow image of a guy pointing at himself in the mirror, as if to give him a pep talk.

I WILL make a normal amount of pasta for one person tonight.

Heidi old as shit now so I’ll come home and she’s splayed out on the floor, eyes wide open and I’m like

*WAITS* …

Oh thank god she’s breathing.

Told my colleague today that surgery recovery makes me really tired and he went and grabbed as many as he could carry of some protein bars he bought (the REALLY good ones that are super expensive) and dumped them in my lap and told me to eat and recover lol.

This why he my work bestie.

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

Three persons in inflatable frog costumes. One of them is holding a nicely painted sign with two little cartoon frogs holding hands, below the text "FROGS TOGETHER STRONG"

Blessed are the frogs, for they keep making authoritarians look incredibly stupid

a legal warrant REQUIRES:
-a signature from a sitting judge. check the judge name at the bottom & google it. all judges are public- you can see if they’re sitting.
-the ADDRESS or BUSINESS NAME must be written on the warrant. if it is spelled wrong, it’s not valid. if the address is wrong, invalid⬇️

a club/bar is a public space, clearing ICE to enter.
HOWEVER: once a ticket, cover or wristband is required for entry, it deems the area PRIVATE, preventing ICE raids indoors. this information is directly from ICIRR. in order to get in to your PRIVATE party, they must have a warrant. ⬇️

It’s such a nice day today and I keep trying to go out into the shop and hang with the guys and pass this sleepy Friday in peace, but every time I start to head that way I get another god damn email. Y’ALL STOP SENDING ME EMAILS AND GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE. IT’S NICE OUT.

Pet play scenario where you offer me gogurt like it’s churu

There’s a certain subset of blue wave people who are just as weird about Trump as the right wingers are. They’re every bit as obsessed with hating him as the right is with praising him.

Like idk if your pfp is an AI image Trump having sex with a lamb to dunk on him, I think you need to go outside.

About to activate my 3 free months of Health+ so I can get in on the eventual class action lawsuit

Really cherishing this time with my dad now. Lord knows this man is flawed to hell and back, but he’s here for me and he loves me and being able to have a real relationship with him means so much to me. I’m not going to take any of it for granted.