TheQueenIsTheKing 🇯🇲 🇩🇴

A white cardboard box with purple writing on it and the logo for insomnia cookie on it. On top of the box is a copy of Tina Knowles’ book “Matriarch.”

Finding a little bit of peace today.

Donate to New Orleans, New Start!, organized by Desiree Napoleon 49. And leaping. Today’s my birthday. I’m 49 and standing in the doorway of something… Desiree Napoleon needs your support for New Orleans, New Start!

I’m leaving. Took a job out of state. Help getting there would be dope.

gofund.me/c8a57e8e

My next love will have to know how to build a home and plant flowers next to a graveyard. And this has nothing to do with location, actual flowers, or graveyards.

It’s my birthday weekend. I’m in his hometown. He should be here. He just should.

Tomorrow is my birthday.

49 Candles for me.

I told his mama I had big news for her next week, and she said “PLEASE tell me you’re pregnant?“
That’s not the news, I’m somehow really sad that it isn’t. She actually sounded… Excited.

Pepperoni. I’ll typically make it myself if I have the stuff in the house.

French bread pizza.

Whew!! This joint right here!!

I can’t believe I’m having to say this here, but peep game: my man has not been in the ground three months yet. I DON’T want anyone in my inbox trying to flirt with me or tell me I’m pretty or anything. I’m not there yet. Please stop. It just makes me want to punch stuff. Like faces.

Took myself to see Sinners last night. Zero regrets. My goddess tuhDAY. Zero regrets.

I was in his city for my massage session earlier. First time there since the funeral. Finished my session by vomiting my breakfast on the side of the building as I waited for my Uber. Grief has so many symptoms and you’ll never know what they are until you feel them. I miss my man, y’all. I do.

YouTube video by NPR Music Bad Bunny: Tiny Desk Concert

youtu.be/ouuPSxE1hK4?...

Today is his birthday. We should be planning to go all out this weekend. Instead there is a glass of wine and a white candle on my altar next to his death programme. I miss this man like hell. Happy 42nd, my dear sweet love.

Not at all. Getting there though. But I gotta go through first.

The cover for the upcoming picture book, Down on the Bayou, written by Glenda Armand and illustrated by Alleanna Harris. The cover features a young Black boy named Troy, sitting in a pirogue with his Grandpa and his Uncle Joe as they float down the bayou in Louisiana.

🗣️COVER REVEAL!!!✨Say hello to Down on the Bayou, written by Glenda Armand and illustrated by me! It comes out on May 20th, but it’s available for preorder now. 🐊🐸🦋🐗🦦🌾🪷🛶 #kidlit

I also finally mailed Mama her souvenir from my Puerto Rico trip. She got it Monday. Full of tears and heart emojis in her thankfulness.

His birthday is next Monday. I’m taking the Friday after to sit at his grave and chat until he’s done listening. I love him so much, even in death. I still want him to know everything about me.

IKTR!

That Lady Gaga and Bruno song makes me miss him and cry so damn bad.

Yeah…death sucks today.

Playa del Escambron, Puerto Rico…

He would’ve sat on the sand with me, wrinkling up his nose at the heat but finding pleasure watching his woman enjoy the waves.

I called out. My surgery knee is twice its normal size. And to make matters worse, I saw a clip on Facebook that reminded me of my love so much that it took my breath. So, in pain, and weeping, I chose to call out. My admin is angry. But they’d be angrier if I had come in the way I am today.

Brown skinned black woman with a chest tattoo and long braids.

Spent a week in Puerto Rico. Nice to rest and recharge a very tired body and spirit.

What would you buy the mama of your dead boyfriend while you’re on vaca to let her know you’re thinking of her still but also to get the seed of taking some time for herself planted?

Something tells me mama need to go somewhere as badly as I do.

Grief is a strange beast in that it often seizes your throat and forces you to acknowledge it. So when I cannot swear or scream, I cry. I’ve had a hard time articulating anything lately, but, Jesus, I can cry with the BEST of em.

I wish my grief were more visible or at least easily sensed or something. Maybe dudes I dealt with four years ago would NOT call if it were. Because that’s not at all what I want for myself right now.

Screenshot of a running route and workout times.

It was 17° this morning, but I got out there.

I made it through the first full week of him being laid to rest. Somehow.

Jane Fonda said, and I agree, "Have any of you ever watched a documentary of a great social movement...and asked yourself, would you have been brave enough to walk the bridge?... we are IN our documentary moment, this is it," accepting her lifetime achievement from #SAGAwards.