Sydney Sweeney’s too young to judge her for her political opinions, but if she doesn’t denounce Trump’s support, her career’s over before it began. He’s bigger box office poison than Scientology.

Hunter Biden’s a piece of sh*t, but you know what he’s not?

A pedophile.

It’s really hard to buy Jacob Elordi as the sexy one in Saltburn after seeing his penis explode giving birth to an alien baby in The Mortuary Collection.

ICE’s costumes remind me of the people who put “Salt Life” stickers on their trucks to let people in Oklahoma know they went to Myrtle Beach once.

With all the wealth and technology this country has access to, politicians should be busy with nothing but pot holes and litter campaigns.

I’m not saying the proliferation of angry-faced cars made people meaner but it’s definitely correlated.

Mar a Lago Face is the McMansion of plastic surgery.

Turning “botched” into the desired look for rich Republican women has to be the most brilliant marketing gimmick since minimalism.

The White House ballroom proposal is a red herring and Democrats are suckers for a shiny set of jingling keys.

I’m curious if Mamdani plans to address the housing crisis without restricting non-citizen home ownership considering how much of the crisis is driven by overseas tax shelters.

The worst thing about Sydney Sweeney has nothing to do with her jeans. It’s that the future of movie stardom is a meticulously aggregated status quo that runs personalities like businesses. Ironically, the only thing genuine about Sweeney is her breasts.

The Republican Party is openly breaking laws to defend known pedophiles. It doesn’t get lower. The only way the country will survive this is if the GOP doesn’t.

Gerrymandering is affirmative action for white trash.

The single biggest problem with digital media is that it doesn’t end. The newspaper doesn’t end. The roll of film doesn’t end. The trailer for the sequel airs during the credits. We don’t have a moment to internalize what we just saw. There’s nothing to finish. Nothing ever ends.

Just let Texas be the independent country it so baselessly thinks it can be. Let them have the rest of the Hate States too. The rest of us will have free healthcare and flying cars in a month.

Citing Elliot Page as an example of ideal masculinity tells young men to ignore the biological realities of adolescence that contribute to some of the more problematic characteristics of modern masculinity.

Just because Sydney Sweeney has great genes doesn’t mean anyone else has bad ones. Pick your f*cking fights, people. Now’s not the time to dig for accidental -isms when blatant bigotry is running the most powerful seat in the world.

#gap #greatgenes #sydneysweeney

I have a hard time believing CBS cancelled Colbert to silence Free Speech when its parent company just spent $1.5B with a “B” on South Park.

Boomers told our generations we’d never be able to retire so you’d think they’d kick back enjoy the fact that they can and not spend it bitching about us wearing shorts and working remotely.

Not even Pedro Pascal can make a Fantastic Four movie watchable. In fact, the juxtaposition might be jarring enough to crumble the very foundation of the superhero genre itself.

There’d be a lot more intergenerational wealth in this country if the middle class wasn’t so quick to cash in the heirlooms for jet skis and every new home purchase didn’t come with an obligatory kitchen do-over. From Trump to the Antiques Roadshow, Americans have an unhealthy aversion to posterity.

People still think Paul Reubens was a pedophile and there was never any evidence. Playing hooky until September won’t make the Epstein Files go away.

You know who wasn’t a whiney little bitch when South Park made fun of him? Barack Obama. So, that’s yet another way he’s better than Trump.

If some millionaire you don’t know got caught cheating on his wife, and you indulge the media’s assault on the WIFE HE CHEATED ON, you are an unequivocal piece of sh💩t, and everything that is wrong with the world. Yes, everything.

Maybe Stephen Colbert and John Stewart should start a podcast. Or their own streaming show. The Press is what you make of the audience you have. Not what corporate conglomerate pays you.

Imagine being caught on camera attending a Cold Play concert.

If you’ve ever wondered why Starbucks and McDonald’s went from cozy and fun to the Zombie Bunker Aesthetic, you have profitability algorithms telling them “don’t let customers stay” to thank for ruining your fond childhood memories.

AI on eBay not knowing what the f*ck goes in a picnic basket 🙄

The problem is an entire generation raised online only knows authenticity as just another social media commodity. So, even if the next Cinnamon Challenge was to be a decent person, it would be an aggregated and monetized exercise in narcissism, purveyors of which genuinely don’t know the difference.

Our fear of AI says more about our unhealthy relationship with the internet than it does the danger AI poses. It can’t exist offline like a Terminator. If you’re scared of some gussied up Ask Jeeves just don’t put sensitive information on the worldwide web. Unplug and read a book.