She Loves Me NOT

bill watterson was so good he drew a six year old smoking and everyone was like 'goddamn that's incredible'

(Although when I see the Cubs having one losing season after another, even I can say "wow, they should probably change their strategy" and "huh, maybe it's time for new leadership," so maybe the metaphor doesn't quite hold up)

Which is to say: You buy the merch, you know the players, you memorize the statistics, and when there's a good game you say "we played really well last night!"

But you're not actually on the field doing anything that would help the team win. You have no impact on the game.

Because if you don't have a line, if there's no candidate so awful that you wouldn't vote for them as long as they had a donkey lapel pin, then I feel like you're a Democrat in the same way that I'm a Chicago Cub.

Eventually it comes down to Ben vs. AOC, but for some reason, there's just a lot more money supporting Ben. It shouldn't sway things, but it does.

Are you still Vote Blue No Matter Who? Is there a line?

"But that would never happen, there's a primary process."

Sure. Twenty candidates running, votes split a bunch of different ways, fifteen drop out after Super Tuesday and pledge their delegates to Ben for the good of the country and the party.

If the DNC were to decide that the best way to win the election, to prevent another term of Trump and/or Vance, was to run Ben Shapiro and Marjorie Taylor Greene, are you going to fall in line? Are you going to make the argument, to stand up and shame leftists for their unreasonable purity tests?

Maybe they decide that Ben doesn't have wide enough appeal. They need to broaden the ticket by getting a woman on there, someone who can appeal to the fringes of the party, someone who can draw in some Israel skeptics. Someone known for being a firebrand. Someone who goes by their initials.

MTG.

Are you voting for Ben Shapiro (D) as long as it's against Trump or Vance? Does he represent harm reduction and the lesser of two evils?

They decide their best bet is to run someone who can compete in the realm of memes and demolish Trump/Vance on the debate stage, someone who already has name recognition and popularity amongst conservatives and young voters, someone who isn't anti-Israel or pro-trans. They run Shapiro.

Ben Shapiro.

Consider this not-impossible scenario: The Democrats want to win in 2028, their consultants have been telling them for 4+ years that they lost 2024 because they were "too woke" and need to dump minority groups and peel voters away from the GOP by being tougher on crime and immigration and spending.

Dems in 2024 campaigned on running to the right of the GOP on immigration and the military. One of the Biden/Harris talking points was that they'd put up a big draconian anti-immigration bill and Trump had his cronies in the GOP kill it. What's to stop them from trying to outflank on other issues?

The thing I'm curious about with the "I would vote for Literal Satan if he had a D after his name" people is: What is your actual problem with Republicans, then? Is it just team sports for you?

I hate to Schumerpost, it’s hacky in its own way. But he and any Democrat like him really need to be steamrolled into oblivion. They’re constantly underselling the dangers of the moment and trying to get us back to the “Republicans Are My Friend, Let’s Give Another Trillion Dollars to Israel” vibe.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
The means of production
Can be seized by you

hIlLaRy WaS rIgHt AbOuT eVeRyThInG

Fuck that rat casino

"HEY FYI THIS IS CHUCK E CHEESE JUST CHECKING IN TO LET YOU KNOW OUR FORMER CEO IS NOT A PEDOPHILE AND BEING A PEDOPHILE ISN'T WHY HE NO LONGER RUNS A CHAIN OF RESTAURANTS FOR KIDS HAVING A BIRTHDAY"

I...uhh

"HE IS INNOCENT AND IT IS NOT WEIRD AT ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY FROM CHUCK E CHEESE"

I think they see the warnings as their inferiors daring to try to tell them what to do, which to them is the supreme insult.

I might even thank people for warning me while there was ample time instead of saying “fuck you, my refusing to take your advice is your fault actually,” but that’s just weird little me

If I were a Democrat concerned about winning elections and was hearing that a significant number of voters wouldn’t support Gavin Newsom in 2028, I would simply stop pushing Gavin Newsom in 2026.

Only the fact that her nomination was essentially a done deal by the time the Illinois primary happened kept me from feeling even worse about it.

My all-time biggest voting regret was voting for her in the ‘16 primary despite my beliefs being way more like Bernie’s, because I bought into the stupid “electability” argument. NEVER AGAIN!

These bills are not designed to more appropriately punish perpetrators of child sexual abuse; they are designed to suppress its being reported in the first place, for exactly the reason mentioned above

// CW: CSA

The fact that it's almost exclusively Republican governments passing bills like this should give people pause considering we all already know what they're about

Every time she opens her mouth I regret my "harm reduction" vote for her even more...

JIMMY PAGE: egads! my riff is ruined! but what if i learn delta blues songs and disguise it as my own?

ROBERT PLANT: sounds good to me. hey but what if we make the songs about elves instead of murder ballads

JIMMY PAGE: can we have a couple songs about elf pussy

ROBERT PLANT: I don't see why not

Did they FORGET how the ORIGINAL anti-manspreading campaigns played out?*

*With police using it as another excuse to harass and arrest nonwhite men.

It seems especially sinister to bring back anti-manspreading campaigns just when ICE has escalated kidnapping and disappearing brown people.

“Excuse” for what? Sitting down like a human being isn’t something that needs to be excused you, helium-headed hamerican

I’m so sick of you people so sick of you FUCKING PEOPLE