Back in a minute I’m just going to amputate my legs then have a massive wank 🤙🏿

Very good 👏🏻👏🏻

Literally over the moon hearing the news about Taylor Swift’s engagement however I am unsure how this relates to the ACTUAL state of my fucking RINGPIECE ffs

£32.23

Including overtime yes

Get back to work lazy fuckers

If he carries on like this I can see myself taking Malen FULLY in the mouth by Xmas ffs

I’m so lonely

Can I watch?

Will you be spending the evening sunk to literally the fucking bollocks up the back of some young totty?

Happy Birthday Sugar Tits xx

Fuck off immediately please Dave x

DAVE!! #DAVE

Oooh look at me I’m a massive cunt. Ffs. Pathetic. 🚮

Could go all the way to pens this. Depends

They should have old Kate Garraway parading round the pitch in her fucking knickers occasionally strumming on her monkey for those that aren’t really into women’s football. Tits out obvs 🤙🏿

Everything reminds me of her

Hell of a fucking week I’m having ffs

Can’t stop I’m working on my speech ffs ffs

I just rang him to get confirmation and he didn’t pick up. He’s clearly in a bad place and I don’t mean Coventry

No

Ladies?

👀

*windmills cock*

WAHAAAAAAAAAAY

Think I’ve fucked up here has anyone got a size chart for butt plugs? One of my fucking eyes has just popped out ffs

Hank Fucking Marvin, lads 🤙🏿

Oh fuck me 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

It’s not something I have any control over tbh

Just shat a battered sausage 🤙🏿

Fuck me