Vixie

Yesterday I drove past a sign that said “Honk 4 Jesus”

…but hand painted in a really unfortunate font so I thought it said “Honky Jesus” and laughed for several miles 😂

You know, Jesus, that jive turkey 😂😂 Play that funky music, Jesus 😂😂

So you know when you wake up in the middle of the night, roll over, and go back to sleep?

I’m pretty sure you just quit your game, went back to main menu, and selected a different character.

I remember watching Star Wars as a kid and asking myself, who would voluntarily join the dark side? I understood Darth Vader's motivation, but not the stormtrooper's.

PITCH: An updated version of the curse of Cassandra where she's describing things that are happening now, in front of everyone, but still isn't believed.

And be safe if you go!! Wear a N95 for germs, warmth, and anonymity. All the birds, one paper stone. If you have extras, bring them for others. Good luck, get home safe after 💜

The new job put a meeting on my calendar for right at 10am today. So I can’t do the thing. Please go out and do the thing extra hard for me today. I really wanted to be there. 🇺🇸

Making someone do ALL of the new hire paperwork before their first day is rude. I get it, okay. You want them to “hit the ground running” day one. But you’re also making them do possibly several hours of work for free. And they might need this time to prep! Start dates are chosen for a reason.

I’m going to say it - this is my new fave couple costume for y’all 🥰🥰🥰

One of the earliest games i remember playing! Fighting the dogs always made me sad 😅

Thinking about that phrase “I’m here for a good time, not a long time”….

I think we need to admit that most of us won’t get to have either one.

Fully willing to walk away from all meta products except Quest right now =/ I have a Vive as well, but quest is so convenient for travel. And some of my friends don’t have the money/PC required for a non-quest VR option. This suuuucks. Wish someone else would buy the company.

They have instructions in the bathroom at Taco Bell!

<GET A THERAPIST!> - CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP <GET A THERAPIST!> CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

Cats are capable of freakishly silent stealth. Why the fuck can I hear them licking themselves from 10 yards away

Anyone on here know a lot about loans??

Checked in on my student loans and they’ve only gotten bigger, even with me autopaying almost 2k a month on these fucks. I need a new plan and don’t want to mess this up again, but I clearly don’t know what I’m doing. I need an adultier adult!

Express your eternal love, admiration, devotion, total consumption with these fun little cards. https://buff.ly/3E7wF3D

I’ve fallen into that trap too many times 😂😂

Should be an optional setting. If that’s how I want to go, let me stare.

My thoughts exactly 😹

Instructions unclear, made breakfast taco

Sums it up nicely actually

Book entitled: how to date buildings (an easy reference guide)

I’m done dating humans. I’ve got a better idea—

Nice job, team!! This is very cool

Yeaaa. Been using an app for about a week now. It’s a really weird experience. Suddenly all my snacks look evil.

I’d love it if games had some special cosmetic item or house decoration or whatever that was triggered by getting 100% achievements 🥰 that would be divine

Yupppp. Our spicy brain gang isnt accepting his lame excuse. ✨Somehow✨ the rest of us didn’t grow up to be Nazis. So maybe it’s something else there, musk rat.

I secretly hope “it’s my autism” becomes the new “thanks Obama”.

Stubbed my toe? Ate the last cookie? Keyed your car? It’s raining? Problems putting on the fitted sheet? It’s my autism.

While I read this, my cat was screaming at the top of his lungs a few feet away because dinner is in a few minutes. This fuzzy bowling ball is starving to death.