Andrew Green

I just verified my age by dialling 01 811 8055.

Returning this account to its roots as a dimetrodon stan acct

I’m here to eat cashews and whoop supportively, and I’m all out of cashews.

Practice self-care by allowing yourself at least one opportunity per day to say “excellent” like an 80s cyberman.

My three word review of Evita: the gimmick works.

I lowkey wish the Queens final really were queens, playing tennis, in full drag; heels fucking up the grass. Serving.

“Many a child would kill to have a parent so chronically online.” 🏆

Anything could happen, Jim! Anything!

Once again I find myself contemplating the mental health of Numberjack Five.

Al Overview "Two in the pink, one in the stink" is a playful rhyme, often used when talking about shoes, meaning that two feet are neatly fitted ("in the pink") while one is not properly on and therefore "in the stink" - essentially, a little bit messy or uncomfortable. Key points about this phrase: Childish origin: It's considered a somewhat childish rhyme, often used when helping young children put on their shoes. Rhyming playfulness: The key is the playful rhyme between "pink" and "stink". Interpretation: "Two in the pink" signifies that two feet are properly laced and comfortable, while "one in the stink" means one shoe is not on correctly and might be causing discomfort.

The @svelte.london meetup group is looking for a venue! Do you know anyone that can help out?

Mind you, got a decent haul.

20 minutes into my annual pilgrimage to the Hot Sauce Festival and I’ve already butchered my palate.

Dreamed about a French medical drama that doesn’t exist: “qu c'est nord” – named after a saying (that also doesn’t exist) when you’re about to hurl yourself into action. French ambulance bay doors (don’t really) always face north so passers-by know to expect people barrelling out of them.

Managed to make a tiny short story in Wordle the other day.

Eighteen The UK’s favourite dedicated honeymoon fund since 2007.

We can scarcely believe it, but Buy Our Honeymoon is now 18 years old. If it were a person, they’d be a fully-grown adult, able to vote and probably on their way to uni.

Loved every minute. 🐇 #insideno9

First meal of the new year: a Premier Inn breakfast. So far, 2025 is going pretty well.

@tintadetoro.bsky.social unwrapped you calling birds?

I’m a little fond of Twilio Sync, fwiw

Had a blood test and dabbing some cotton wool didn’t stop the bleeding for several seconds – prompting the nurse to describe me as “a juicy one.”

Dreamed that whenever my computer crashed, it took out objects in the real world too. I was printing stuff for some kind of scrapbook, the Mac froze, and the scrapbook had gone from my desk. This felt supernatural, not just a fable about ⌘S, but: kids, save your data, or the devil might get it.

Whoa oh Black Betty

A selfie next to our newly fitted spare tyre

Changed a tyre with @ant1xhr15t.bsky.social 💪

This is probably my favourite of those resurrected old tweets. I still sometimes think about Silky Smooth Hilkeun.

Just used bluemigrate.com to bring over a bunch of old tweets from my defunct Twitter profile to Bluesky. I kinda love that it's possible to add a backdated post here. They appear with a archive flag, which is cool.

Get a massive 30% off the one-time fee for your honeymoon gift list if you sign up before 6 December. Just use code CYBER24. #honeymoonfund

But then one of them gave someone a blowjob, and ended up in a coma for a week.

Dreamed about an alien race that would get lethargic and spaced-out if they ingested protein. As a result, to remain productive, they’d only consume vast amounts of simple carbs. Sugar sandwiches and the like. But doing so would mean they were constantly tetchy and cross.

“I’m concerned my breakfast might be inadequately nutritious, so I think I’ll eat this bowl of broken glass and dogshit instead.”