Rowan

Maybe it's just me worrying that the people behind P2025 have contengencies for all the backlash and are going to keep figuring out ways to subvert the will of the people and continue to plunge us further into a Fascist Christian Theocratic hellscape.

With all the stuff I keep seeing about various groups suing the various perts of the current administration, it is really starting to dilute the power of the term law suit. I guess I just fear that it's just paper and words by people opposing Trump that ultimately don't do anything of substance.

"Don't you love me?" ~💙⛓️

👤- @xackeryy.bsky.social
Thank you so much!

#vgencomm #vgen #commission #yandere #halloweenych

What if getting sent to your dungeon is how I really feel?

✨ RAFFLE TIME ✨

Be following and drop your png down below! I’m feeling like doing some Halloween chibis tonight! It’s been awhile since I made any dinkers!

Give me an idea of what you want your Halloween outfit to be! I’ll design the outfit for you! This is skeb like!!

🎃

I would love to see my puppy girl as a devil (succubus if you're feeling spicy)

Carved pumpkins today with some of the cule and friends. Plan to carve another soon. This one was a shared pumpkin between @rowandeliah.bsky.social and I. We think we did a pretty good job, but wish we had room for a certain phrase, iykyk.

Reference in thread. 🎃✨️

I probably won't ever be 100% passing. That's fine...

But if I can get a bigot telling me "you'll never be a woman" or being absolutely fucking confused when they look at me, then I did enough. That's a win in my book.

(12/12)

Transitioning, I imagine, is hard in general for people. Obviously worth it tho.

For me... its grueling. Sometimes I question if it's worth the pain.

But I really fucking want this. I just need to bear with it long enough for certain permanent changes. Then I can stop T.

(11/12)

My voice lowering & bottom growth is basically nonexistent. It'll be a full year sometime in the last week of Nov.

Reminder that being on T actually is physically hard on my body b/c of my POTS. I struggle a lot. I'm safe, but I feel like I am dying due to the interaction w/ my disability.

(10/12)

. . .

I know I had a similar-ish vent/rant a few months ago on this. I still haven't made any progress towards fully expressing myself more.

My confidence is at an all time low.

It doesn't help that I am medically transitioning and I STILL feel like I have barely anything to show for it.

(9/12)

I should just put on the skirt, play with the make up, love my tits when they don't make me feel dysphoric af. Might as well try to enjoy them before I chop them off.

I hate that the voices tell me that I won't be accepted as transmasc if I don't 100% present hard masc 24/7.

(8/12)

I also wish I could stop listening to the bad voices in my head saying that I MUST dress a certain way. I must overcompisate my mascness in so many ways b/c I'm not passing. It never gets me gendered correctly in public anyways.

(7/12)

I feel more complex than that. My feelings of my gender vibe mostly with man, less with women, but also not really either. But I also don't exactly consider myself nonbinary.

I think I just wish people would stop perceiving me in general. Don't assume anything about me.

(6/12)

But also like, I like being trans specifically. If that makes sense. I like being a tboy. This is my personal experience.

I feel like sometimes... the people around me don't fully get how I feel. Many people who are trans, still view the world in a binary and follow it in a way.

(5/12)

I'm me. I'm Xackery. I'm just a little guy. A pretty, sometimes handsome, but usually soft cute dudebro.

Sure I have the thoughts. "I wish I was born cis." Usually only when in regards to not having to put so much work into feeling comfy. I wish I had a dick as well yk.

(4/12)

I hate when I get thrown into the men's side of stuff sometimes in a way that removes my queerness, or any sapphic stuff about me. Or in ways that removes my transness.

Yes I like to be one of the guys, but not in a way that feels so... binary. So cis.

(3/12)

I grew up as a woman & although I REALLY don't vibe w/ being a woman, there is an aspect of it in my roots. She will always be a part of me.

I vibe w/ being a bro. A homie. A dude. But like when I hear man, or overly manly terms, I think ugh. I don't want to be like the one's who opress me.

(2/12)

[ VENT 🧵 ]

Sometimes I feel like I need to force myself in this weird little box that's labeled man. When in reality I don't identify w/ the term "man" 100%.

I label myself as transmasc & I prefer he/him. But I am in touch with my femininity, I like to feel pretty over handsome sometimes.

(1/12)

I mentioned not wanting to be perceived and yes, that's true...

But the real enemy here is myself. I hold myself back constantly and I am so tired of it. I wish I could just let myself be me.

(8/8)

I feel so stagnant with things. I wish I could move past it and just quit worrying about how other's view me.

I used to be so much more confident and unbothered.

I've been so beaten down by society, trauma shit, and medical stuff. I just feel tired of existing at this point.

(7/8)

I'd argue confidence is important for either side tbh.

I don't play into either that much, even in a chatting bit way b/c I'm afraid of being stuck as one thing and one thing only.

It's made me shutdown irl as well. Not allowing myself to show certain sides afraid it will be taken too far.

(6/8)

As said, I don't display my dom side much online. Tbh I would also argue I don't truly display my sub side either.

I have a lot of anxiety of crossing boundaries, fucking up, and in general I'm just very insecure rn in life due to other factors. I dont have the confidence built.

(5/8)

Idk if this is just my autisim at play, hating getting perceived constantly. Not wanting to be placed into a box forever. I'm not sure what it is.

I just wish other's understood how I feel...

(4/8)

I hate that the way I act gets labeled as bottom & sub in ppls brains. Yes, I can be those things, but they aren't the whole picture. It makes me want to shutdown norm me just so I can stop getting told "I can't see you as this other thing."

If you've said this, plz know I'm not mad @ you.

(3/8)

I don't have the confidence to publicly be dommy often if at all. But just b/c that is the case, doesn't mean it is a role I can't play.

Tbh w/ you, I more often don't fall into any of the boxes lately and more tow this hard to explain asexual line. Even my sex life rn is nonexistent.

(2/8)

[ VENT 🧵 ]

To add onto the perceiving aspect here. I think I get uncomfy when ppl put me into a dom/sub or top/bottom boxes. But like specifically assuming I have one box based on how I act. Usually being bottom & sub.

Tbh w/ you, this subject is a sore spot for me & I am insecure about it.

(1/8)

And remember, it's okay to be uncomfortable with something. It's okay to be disgusted even.

What's not okay is to push for more censorship. Don't call people things they aren't. Don't harass real people over fiction. Block it. Curate your space. Move on.

And artists... tag your work correctly. ♡

When it comes to these things, if you don't stand for it all, the censorship that comes for them, will come for you next. You can't just have some censorship, that's not how fascism works. It will never stop.