Glitchy Fable

If they wanted to help, their offer to help would be specific or offer examples of HOW they could help.

Keeping it generic is the equivalent response to this: 🖕

You know that "friend" who says "Let me know what I can do to help."?

Yeah, they have no intention of helping, they just want to LOOK like they're part of the "team" so they can continue to reap the benefits of your relationship (aka throw out asks on their side).

Choose your asks wisely.

a woman from schitts creek is holding a book and saying i won t be doing any of that ALT: a woman from schitts creek is holding a book and saying i won t be doing any of that

Oh, hello former coworker I haven't talked to for 3 months and who set me up to fail on their way out. I can overlook some of that to have a civil conversation and catch up to preserve the relationship...

What's that? You want me to... engage with your first post as an influencer?

a man is wearing a grey sweater with a cat on it and a #schitts creek logo behind him ALT: a man is wearing a grey sweater with a cat on it and a #schitts creek logo behind him

If I give you all the information I have, I tell you that it’s all the info I have, and you come back asking for more info, we’re going to have a problem.

A friend isn't really a friend if they give you advice that's out of alignment with what they know about you,

but is in perfect alignment with what they want for themselves, especially if it adds friction to your life.

This is a frenemy.

If you have to explain your joke, it’s not funny.

If your joke is so close to reality and not exaggerated enough, it’s not a joke, it’s shitty satire easily mistaken for a personal position.

Called it.

Good luck.

The women on your team aren't your mothers or your personal project managers.

and no, they're not "nagging" you - they're holding you accountable when you leave them covering your carelessness.

Manage your shit.

Ad agency account managers have NEVER met a billable meeting they haven't enjoyed - and will eagerly fill it with jr people who have thin ties to your account.

a woman is covering her mouth with her hand while holding a bow and arrow . ALT: a woman is covering her mouth with her hand while holding a bow and arrow .

It's layoff time!

Good money says they'll keep the bro who's tight with the VP and let the heavy lifter go.

two men are talking to each other and one of them is saying you keep using that word . ALT: two men are talking to each other and one of them is saying you keep using that word .

Every wannabe thought leader on LinkedIn throwing around the word "strategy".

(AI isn't a strategy, boo)

Lemme get this straight, in three years, you went from college, to accounts payable to CEO of a "thought leadership" company who wants to sell me ghostwriting services at a premium?

Nope. I'm good. 🖕

Your employees are 100% talking amongst themselves about your personality hire.

You're lucky if they're not actively plotting against them.

If 40% of your ELT's majority job experience is with a single company (yours), you're absolutely not getting the best.

Real high performers bring a wealth of experience to the table, not just a series of "Yes's".

What they're bringing isn't loyalty, it's cronyism.

Your employees report to you, not me.

When I raise an issue with your direct reports, it's YOUR job to fix it.

If you bring me into a meeting and set me up to do YOUR job, because you're scared to do it yourself or want me to look like an asshole, it won't go the way you want.

Guaranteed.

If you're not my employee I'm not going to give you direction on what you should be working on or where you should start.

You're a grown up and (supposedly) a professional. Figure that shit out yourself and don't ask me to carry the mental load for you.

Nothing like having an idea stolen from you, without credit, to motivate you to put it in market first.

I will absolutely shift my priorities to make a point.

The lesson for me is to do a better job moving in silence.

Not sure why you'd host a webinar and NOT feature your primary SME with name recognition. But go ahead and feature the employee who's been the "chosen favorite" instead.

You do you, boo.

BTW, qualitative data can't be statistically significant.😉

BDRs: WE NEED LEADS!

I send a lead

BDRs: I NEED EVERYTHING FULLY SCOPED FROM THIS LEAD

No. I'm not doing your job in addition to mine

That feeling when a company leader, who is not an operator, refuses to adjust the focus and pivot and you have to sit back and watch the ship slowly take on water. 🥺

Not a good feeling.

Lean on your operators, be open to conversations.

Sure, let's target shorter higher volume/higher competitive keywords for an audience we don't know.

Winning strategy. 👍

You CANNOT reposition your content to resonate with your audience if you
- don't have a specific audience target
- know the problems they're trying to solve
- and how it connects to your offer

I mean you can, but you're just making assumptions (guessing) which means you're wasting effort.

Planning conversations around creating differentiation inevitably circling back to doing the VERY THING that everyone else is doing.

Oh, yeah, didn't see that coming. 🙄

Anyone carrying water for Nazi's and Elon and denying what he did is going to have a bad time when the bill comes due and the screenshots come out.

Just because someone isn't telling you that they're watching doesn't mean they aren't gathering receipts.

If you expect me to read your mind, you're going to be met with a blank stare in response. And a lot of awkward silence. (awkward for you)

I'm no longer available to make mental leaps when you can't clearly communicate what you want/need.

a baby is laying on a couch with his hands behind his head and wearing a tom jerry shirt . ALT: a baby is laying on a couch with his hands behind his head and wearing a tom jerry shirt .

Proud of myself.

Fully relaxing into the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mindset and didn't send those list of corrections and feedback I was never asked for, but that glared at me as obvious issues.

You told me, "I got this." So, go get it.

One day Zuck will realize that daddy Trump will NEVER love him as much as Elon.

Until that day, the rest of us will swim in disinformation and hate from Meta. 👍

It's an oligarch's world after all, we're just the cogs in their machine.

🚩Agency offers AI services and coaching but refuses to issue its own AI policy for employees.

It's 2025, time to stop asking your colleagues for help finding something in the file server when the search bar is RIGHT THERE.

If a woman CEO published a video after coming out of a cold plunge - hair wet, no makeup, towel around her shoulders what are the odds she'd be taken as seriously as a man CEO in an equivalent video?

I think we all know the answer to this one.