Danny Fearns

I like him already!

Even worth the £6 'kiss and fly' drop off charge 🤭

Maths isn't my strongest point, but I've worked out that from Liverpool to London Euston, the maglev would arrive about 10 minutes before it sets off.

Not even time for me to finish off my bacon barm...

He definitely cuts a bit of a dash in his high viz vest. Good to know Bruno will be visible from space when he goes for a dip :-)

The brightest and the best (try not to laugh).
Definition of a gravy train, doing very little for very large rewards.

One of the worst aspects of this is the effect it has on people who paint all politicians as being unprincipled money grabbing opportunists.

A percentage of them will fail to show up at future elections, or turn to Reform because "they can't be any worse".

Glad she at least resigned quickly.

Joe Gallina 😎

BREAKING: Lawrence O'Donnell, a media legend, after seeing the media coverage of Donald Trump's handling of the Epstein files, finally had enough:

"We are watching the worst president in history manipulate the worst WH press corps in history every day."

This is a must-watch: 🔥

Don't worry, our UK prime Minister has sent Netanyahu a strongly worded letter 🤷‍♂️

Revelations about their impersonation of the police must have hit a nerve, they took down the looky likely faux police website and redirected people back to the council's own pages. They'd have gotten away with it as well if it hadn't been for that pesky East Anglia Bylines 😠

Is there a risk they may proscribe Private Eye?

EXCLUSIVE TO ALL NEWSPAPERS POWDER KEG UK ABOUT TO BLOW UP AS BRITAIN STANDS ON THE BRINK OF THE WHOLE NATION DESCENDING INTO CIVIL WAR by Our Apocalypse Staff HELENA HANDCART THE entire country has turned into a tinderbox, one spark and the whole thing could turn into a raging inferno of hatred and violence. All it needs is one little push - preferably from us - and this once peaceful island will explode. It may not take much, maybe an article with some badly researched facts, maybe some exaggerated and provocative hyperbole, and before we know it there'll be blood on the streets, and flames too, as millions of furious citizens attack each other, the police, and the emergency services, not to mention the armed forces should they tragically be called in to deal with the hate-filled mob rampaging through our cities, towns and villages, armed with burning torches and pitchforks, calling for justice, free speech and the immediate death of everyone they don't like. (Top journalism, Ed). Make no mistake, if Britain even exists by next week, we will run this piece again until someone sparks the tinderbox on the brink of the powderkeg that... (cont. for entire summer).

No one sums up the utter shamelessness of the British press and the ugly politics of Farage quite like Private Eye.

Rewrite past climate reports. Surely quicker to just burn them? 🤔

Does anyone know where Trump stands on Russia today? I'm struggling to keep up 🤔

You fail to appreciate that the water companies senior execs are the crème de la crème in our society.

Fail to remunerate them adequately and they might just bugger off to screw up some other country 🤞

I saw it back in the day, I might be ready to rewatch it. My rubbish memory will come in handy, I can laugh at the gags like I've never heard them before...

QVC got Buster Keaton out of retirement to demonstrate the V-17183 telescopic ladder.

The Windsors Comedy soap opera that imagines the royal family as you've never seen them before

It's impossible to take the British royal family seriously. I don't know if you watched The Windsors on Channel 4, their take on Camilla made me laugh.

www.channel4.com/programmes/t...

No, I get that. I suppose Trump is the most extreme example of an amoral narcissist. How do his followers live with themselves going along with his religious charades?

You make a good point. I suppose they didn't have the benefit of IKEA 🤔

I feel pretty awkward about this and there's no easy way to say it, but Phil has promised to wait for me, as soon as I break things off with Kate Winslet.

Don't fret chap, plenty more fish in the sea 👍

I'm a bit cautious about automatically dismissing people with strong religious beliefs. I know several very decent and devoted Catholics and CofE followers.

However, Mogg likes to wear his Catholicism so loudly, while lacking any morals or principles. Surely no one is fooled by his sick act.

Yet paradoxically, deeply religious 🤷‍♂️

If God existed, she would beat him slowly to death.

Still can't get used to people calling her the Queen...

Advertising hoarding – this year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. Graffiti below "no we won't"

Defiance is the way forward...

Anyone remember Jacob Rees-Mogg?

It was quite promising but lacking any sort of punch line. I'll keep an eye out for them. Here's an idea they could work on.

Thanks 🙏 Maybe a good time to mention Scoop, also on Netflix, about the BBC interview with the revolting Nonce Andrew.

Notable that Andrew thought the interview had gone well for him when everyone else saw it as the end of his career in the Royal family.

Too arrogant to know how stupid he was.

THIS ⬇️⬇️⬇️ 👏👏👏

ALWAYS cover up The Scum whenever you see it on sale. Guardian or anything else that a Scum reader couldn't read.

This is at the WH Smith at T1 Manchester Airport, before and after.