Stachenscarfen

You're welcome officer! Just don't commit any crimes with those! I have warrants! Keh heh heh!

I have two from when I was a mercenary if you want one.

I'm hoping little lady! I'm happy you have a fondness for them as well! Don't forget to check the couch cushions and the fountains in parks! Keh heh heh!

I didn't know there were so many options! Thank you officer! Keh heh heh! I'd give you a hint coin but that would be bribing an official and I can't go back to jail!

Thank you, young man! Here, have a hint coin!

Anybody know anything fun to do in Des Moines?

*takes your glasses and puts them on* Huh, look at that! Guess old Stachey needs to get his eyes checked!

Really? Says right here "Desmond Snoozysnore, professor of archeology and avid aviation enthusiast."

Thank you sonny! Let's see here...
*Spends coin*
Oh, the famous Professor Snoozysnore! I've heard of you!

I also don't even know this guy

I also miss this guys wife

I miss my wife

That's right little lady! They're everywhere! One was a choking hazard in my lunch today, I found one under a park bench, there were a bunch in the park water fountain. Just about anywhere a mouse could go, a hint coin is sure to follow! Keh heh heh! Now off to buy lipstick!

My goodness that's a lot of pink! Hmm, this is one tricky puzzle... In a situation like this, a hint coin is perfect! I can use the hint coin I found in my canned lunch to get a hint as to which pink I would like best! Let's see...That brick pink might be nice or maybe the bold fuchsia? Keh heh heh!

Why, coming from such a sweet little girl like you, that means a lot! Tell ya what, you teach me about which shade of pink is best and I'll teach you about hint coins! Keh heh heh!

Well, sometimes people can feel different on the inside than what their body is on the outside. With everyone else becoming women today, it makes old Stachy think maybe he could be one too! Of course, if I don't think it fits me, I can always go back to being Stachenscarfen! Keh heh heh!

Hmm... Stachenscarfen may have to change his name to Braidenbowen...

(Thinking)

*Whoo boy, that twink needs some anxiety meds*

Keh heh heh! No need sonny! I have so many, I don't know what to do with all of them. Under the mattress, in jars, offshore accounts, the end of rainbows, that diner I'm banned from and New Jersey just to name a few spots! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get creative with some tax paperwork!

Well, part of my job is staring folks down to see if they need to be taught about hint coins but never to see if they're a twink. First time for everythin', eh? Hmmm, let's see... You're stylish, a little skinny and a twink is a sponge cake with cream filling. So no! I don't think so! Keh heh heh!

The name is Stachenscarfen! Not wild gay twink!

I see all the people I help with hint coins and picarats as my children! My ignorant but lovable children. And the best part is that like a real father, I really only show up at first, impart some common sense knowledge and then disappear until it's convenient for me! Keh heh heh!

I'd rather flood it with sandwiches! More layers to hide hint coins in! Keh heh heh!

I have been banned from the diner

Stachenscarfen
He's the guy
Hidin hint coins
In your pie

In the eggs
Or in your baloney
Maybe the bacon
Or the canoli

Hmmm... Am I Zaddy™? I may have to use a hint coin to find out! Keh heh heh!

Did you know that certain vending machines can take hint coins? It's true! It may take a little elbow grease but eventually it'll fit! The best part is usually you can find a hint coin or two by beating all around it. So next time you're thirsty, just start boxing that vending machine! Keh heh heh!

Hoo boy! Took me all day but I think I finished putting all the hint coins back in their respective piles of rubble. Now if only I could remember which pile of rubble I hid my house keys in! I make my own fun! Keh heh heh!

Blimey! London's covered in pieces of London. Just like my horoscope predicted. There's hint coins all over! Well, I guess it's time to scoop 'em all up and hide 'em again. After all, when we fall apart the only thing left to do is pick up the pieces and hide them again! Keh heh heh!

Tried to convince my cousin Dwight D Risinflower to run for office but he's too busy with his bakery. My other cousin Dwight D Havinshower has plumbing problems and- Hang on my phone's ringing. Oh my god... My cousin Dwight D Theyvehitthesecondtower just called. You won't believe what just happened.