andrewhibbard

Jimmy Kimmel had weapons of mass destruction. It had to be done.

My wife and I never had children. But we did just get a robot vacuum.

One of the nice thing about being in your 40s is the grocery store finally starts playing your jams

This was the primary subject of episode 3 of the (excellent) new season of South Park, named “Sickofancy”

This RFK Jr hearing is a tough watch with him breathing into the mic like a french bulldog

The only doctor allowed to provide care for Trump is RFK jr

If there are 50 locks on a door and only 49 are latched, my wife is terrified.

Be nice to me. I’m old. I’m basically gonna make a wish kit at this point.

Good luck prosecuting Trump for any of this. He’s got an air tight Parody law defense.

Ocean’s 14 is gonna be bonkers

What’s the German word for hilarious and depressing?

Gotta get that nut

ai could never

There comes a time when every romantic couple, having made it through all the ups and downs of the early years, evolves from partners to fartners #fartners

The timing is amazing. I wonder if it was a done deal before airtime

Them South Park boys took 1.5 billy from Paramount and made them immediately regret it.

PSA - the new episode is v good

Wow. How easily these corporations fold under an authoritarian thumb

I’d like a personal AI modeled on Carl Sagan

The Epstein files are Trump’s Schrödinger's cat

Same

What’s amazing is that they can have this much insight with this all of the sudden, but miss everything else for the last 10 years

Winner

I’ve been having fun with friends on social media who have fallen for what is clearly ai content, but in like 5 minutes no one will be able to tell what’s real anymore

I don’t know the whole story here, but yeah, disproportionate force can happen fast

I just put a Snickers on a plate before I ate it like some kind of 19th century 5th Ave dandy

Trump was against crypto until someone explained to him that it was a grift

Threw ‘em over his shoulder and hopped on the first cargo train headed west

Most people understand the satisfaction derived from checking off tasks on your to-do list, but not enough attention is given to the deep fulfillment that comes from putting them off til tomorrow

Tbf, they did say “should’ve”