Matt

Don’t threaten me with a good time

The mini really shouldn’t take this long, Sam

However tall you want me to be bby

With all this talk of how tall we are going on, I feel I need to remind everyone that the only response I accept to learning my true height is immediately offering to have me on your shoulders for the duration of a song of my choosing at any gigs we go to together

So much better than pushing the cooked potatoes through a sieve!!

Gave the ricer her maiden voyage tonight and it has made the smoothest mashed potatoes of my LIFE

“Accidentally”

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING REWRITE WHAT I'VE JUST WRITTEN!"

Reminder on this Quizzy Monday that I was going to go on Mastermind, but I can't sit on leather

Either they’re apologising for being a poor imitation of the connecting wall, or they’ve settled on a new drag name

Brazen

One soup. And. Another. Soup

Thank you Lukey ❤️

A transcript of Patricia Routledge’s second monologue as Kitty for Victoria Wood As Seen on TV

Like getting a birthday card from Dame Patricia herself 😂

I’m sorry the level of chronically online you need to be to understand the nuances here are off the charts

Marsi is an absolute doll! I love her and her shop so much!!

Thank you handsome ❤️

This was Flux in Newnham, but Java over in Granchester is also a great spot!

It begins

I have a name 😡

He’s played knifey spooney before

I swear to god if one of you fuckers has organised a surprise Mat(t) Gala without my knowing…

Nurse Joy quick out the gate with the birthday wishes 🎉

This may have been usurped by Bloody Mary into Abracadabra into Judas into Aura into Scheiße

In a word, whimsy

Gratefully received!

My instinct is telling me sweet potato, carrot, onion/leek and ginger

Tomorrow to the day baybeeee

Probably something root vegetable-based!

Yes! Espresso and tonic water with yuzu syrup and candied yuzu!