lun4

i actually hate that i have to live in constant worry my skin color is upsetting someone or is the reason someone would want to hurt me and that's just crazy to me it makes me uncomfortable in my own skin like every time i go out im confronted with that fact and the fact that im... a women

you might think it's stupid and so did i before but after being victim of racism in front of everyone in the train and by a BLACK person? anything's possible

today is my first day going to work wearing my afro and i'm a bit scared. they've never said anything but i've been eating my hairstyle since i met them and i know how big my hair gets and i've seen things about people joking about afro hair...

week 2 of working in a bookstore. i don't want to go. the only good things are the clothes and shoes i bought when i could for my new job but it had skirts in it that i can't wear because my boss is having me do ALL the physical work all the time

i'm... fighting with my bf? how? why is that happening?

watching euphoria rn and yes definitely

well i'm on my own right now sike

i feel like i'm discovering sex for the first time every time i have sex with my bf. but also i feel so much more performative like i know what i gotta do this time and i'll do it right

i'm officially no longer single!!! i have a BOYFRIEND!!! i haven't been in a relationship in 4 YEARS!!!!

he declared his love for me and i did too

i took a while shit of meds and i'm just waking up at 10 like am i really that not phased it was very short i could kms ill never die

fuck it i'll do better tomorrow

fighting the urge to swallow a whole tab of benzos and just pass out. i'm exhausted

because i do be isolating myself, fighting with my loved ones, feeling strong emotions about death and loss. but i also feel love

it is NOTHING toxic or unwanted. it is purely attraction, love and tenderness. he talks to me every day morning to sleep. he is affectionate, demonstrating and loving. i am having the best sex. i even deleted my dating apps and im only talking to him which is a first on every level. i am down bad

how do i know this is not the start of a bpd episode

it is like i've been turned back on again and my body and mind are just trying to catch up but it is painful even though i know that the person im falling for has no desire to hurt me it's like im still suffering because of all the love im getting that i thought was lost

i might be truly falling in love for the first time since... since i don't know when and it might just be the best and most terrifying thing ever. i feel again in a way i didn't think i had not in forever but i am feeling EVERYTHING. everything just at once and not just for him, in all aspects

i am filled with despair i can not stop crying i wish i wasn't alive i wish i didn't feel this pain i don't know what's going on i don't know what's wrong with me but this ache i can not stand

this day is already so fuckinng hard i'm crying my eyes out over picking up the trash i feel so beyond broken

i got all this love and no one to put it towards to. maybe it's best. maybe my love wasn't made for this plane, maybe i'll give it freely in the next

posting here in an attempt to break a writer's block and also get a better understanding of who i am now in a world i barely recognize with a big heart but an empty shell

LUNA.

only logging in to check on my baby @borderlinebby.bsky.social i am ur bigger fan xx🙏🏾🙏🏾