Big TTY goth gf

You cannot possibly comprehend how this email finds me

If I still did grindr I'd set it to "Cruisin' for a usin'"

Just brushed my teeth

What's a pervert's favorite airplane? A leerjet.

OC

my brain just pictured Daniel Craig saying the phrase "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Hot Testicle Hypothesis" and now my day is off to a good start.

i dated this guy who worked for western digital. he was kind of a disk.

•••••BREAKING•••••
The measles outbreak in western Texas is rapidly growing, with 25 new cases confirmed in just the last five days. In West Texas alone, there are now a total of 223 confirmed cases, according to new data released by the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS).

Watch..

No plan survives first contact with the cat

There needs to be a conditional NOP instruction - if the condition is false, the processor needs to do something; it doesn't matter what.

I wanna replace all the numbers on my gears with emojis:
1: 🚜
2: 🚲
3: 🚀
4: 👍🏼
5: 🚂
6: 🚢
R: 🙃

when the dildo arrives that you ordered from the Internet, is that mail genitalia?

Any sufficiently hot sex is indistinguishable from magic

What did it gain? Nothing that couldn't be achieved with a little reflection.

hey, what did the antenna do about its depression?
It started taking RSSIs.

This lesbian bluetooth dongle is kind of a ripoff www.amazon.com/Makita-19890...

Nature finds a way

I believe I am in fact higher than balls

when you’re both trash but the chemistry is insane

Problematic but brilliant doctor who plays by his own rules will put your new liver where he damn well pleases “Dr. Falcon was kind of a jerk, but in a way that made me think he was really smart,” one patient said.

Problematic but brilliant doctor who plays by his own rules will put your new liver where he damn well pleases

These are the good guys supporting DEI. Reward them with your business.

Costco
Meijer
Kroger
Giant Grocery
Ben & Jerry’s
Ulta, Macy’s
Old Navy
Nordstrom’s
TJ Maxx
GoTo Foods ( Moe’s Southwest Grill, Mcalister’s, Auntie Anne’s, Jamba, Cinnabon…)
Dollar Tree
Walgreens
Wegmans

freal. also, best enby name

💯🥵

I refuse to be left out of the lewd-posting. I'm still not sure what this account is for, but it's definitely not for *not* posting lewds.

it’s not called pegging it’s called fucking

it’s not called getting pegged it’s called getting fucked

git: (forced update)
me: 🥺

🤐💭 What was the controls engineer's sexual fantasy? He wanted to get DIN-railed in a sundress.

I trip over a haphazardly placed 3d printer. Now we're at the ER.