Maggie Sharp

You know. After you abruptly sweat through your fuckin clothes again for no discernible reason except that your body decided it was go time. Good luck have fun let others die mad about you.

A society that chuckled at skits like 'your last fuckable day' or hear tales about women who feel invisible once they're over thirty, and do dick and shit about it. But there is good news: your last fuck will have flown and you can try to live life on your terms.

Jackasses will make you feel like this is your fault. Some doctors will think you're overreacting. You may find new things wrong with you. You may finally find old things that are wrong with you! Every month is a new treat! And at the end of it all:

Your skin will feel alien. If you're really lucky, you'll feel like there's hair in your throat for days until something hormonal, digestive, or stressful finally pops. Your pain response is a question mark. You will forget the first half of what somebody says before they're done talking.

Perimenopause sucks so goddamn bad and no doctor will ever warn or prepare you for it: hot flashes, cold flashes, nausea, brain fog, constipation, diarrhea, inflammation, chronic pain, migraine, anxiety, cholesterol spikes, anemia, the list goes on. You will feel insane. You will feel stupid.

Not going to get my hopes up for Xbox course correcting on years of shitty decisions, but curious to see what happens next.

I read the article and I still don't understand why there's a baseball player there, and I think I'm not supposed to and anyway I guess I'm wishlisting whatever the hell I just read about.

I'm expecting something deeply fucked up, and I'm already too seated.

either the dipshit is gonna roll out the same pointless Blue Book crap that's been debunked past boredom, or he's gonna drop a whole ass dead alien on a podium because he's that mad Obama said something about the topic. It will be the former, but God PLEASE consider the latter.

A monumental and colossal fuck-up on Sony's part, saddling a studio that made beloved, award-winning, best-selling single player experiences with a live-service title that they then chickened out on, and then shuttering the studio. An absolutely outrageous failure of management.

What handsome bastards.

boy, you have no idea how often your forearms scrape or rub on your desk until you've got fresh tats on both.

Good. Also, fuck the Department of Education for attempting to pull this bullshit in the first place, and fuck this whole racist, shitty administration. And fuck ICE, while I'm at it, because that's just an evergreen at this point.

I would rather stab out my fucking eyes.

"I have a suggestion," said the woman who always suggests guillotines.

Love that AI, a thing we hate and don’t want, steals everything, ruins everything, shittifies everything. Drinks our water, plagiarizes our art, pisses all over our information fidelity, drives kids to suicide, serves the right-wing, and fucks up our devices and services. Good job, techbros!

I'm seated for Mando and Grogu, but it's going to earn every bit of 'what and when was this meant for?' it has still coming. This thing has the most ABC Ewoks tv movie event energy I've felt since 1985.

It's the Year of the Horse! So I put on my cowboy hat and rounded up the very best of horses on the Nintendo Switch, with insights from the world's most horse expert, @malicedafirenze.bsky.social!

horse

The mold-crusted sentient towel and his puppeteer minion is going to be especially interminable today.

Every child needs to hear this, and remember it, as a teen, as an adult, when they are very old.

Rest in Power Rev. Jesse Jackson

Day's not over yet. Still time for him to do the funniest thing.

"come try Horses of Hoofprint Bay we have 25 positive reviews on our demo already", says video game horse expert

store.steampowered.com/app/4335510/...

a man in a hat is sitting in the dirt with a caption that says if i say it 's safe to surf Alt: a man in a hat is sitting in the dirt with a caption that says if i say it 's safe to surf it's safe. (Context: Apocalypse Now)

👑 rest well.

PLAY HORS GAEM DEMO PLS

Me watching Richard Gere angst for two hours because the voice of Mothman torments him: god I hate watching other people live my dream.

Doogie Howser was in Starship Troopers

Got my partner watching The Mothman Prophecies for the camp of it (and the one really good scene), and it's neat to know that your chance of having your cancer diagnosed by Mothman is low -- but never zero.

Since I'm probably not going to get picked up by aliens anytime soon, I'm just gonna get another tattoo this wed in order to emotionally cope with life on Earth. Please respect my turmoil at this delicate time.

Obama said aliens are real, happy Valentine's to me specifically. Everyone can debate the rest of the context, and yeah, we still got a lot else going on. But I'll be on my roof with a big sign and my hitchhiking towel.

And he said yes?????