WrittenInCode_

Office desk with plants on the monitor surrounded by Monstera plants

After all these years, I've finally found the key to coziness and productivity. The key to success is Monstera Plants. The more Monstera plants, the cozier the room. *Results for productivity may vary. #plants #productivity #procrastination #Monstera #Gardening

Anyone wanna purchase my soul in exchange for a book deal? Are the crossroads still a thing or did the devil start a housing development there yet? #Publishing #Books #DevilWentDownToGerogia #Unemployed

Slow closing toilet seats are the pinnacle of modern technology. Forgetting that not everyone has slow closing toilet seats by slapping the lip down and 3000Db at 3 o'clock in the morning after a hard night of binge eating carne asadas is the folly of man.

I think it's about time to write the next book. #Writing #Publishing

Mariachi music is just classical ska.

You ever feel like you suddenly just woke up? Like, not from sleeping, but you just suddenly remembered you're alive and you're just sitting there staring at your phone with a mouthful of Cheetos muttering "shit" to yourself?

I am unreasonably addicted to standing in a field with the intent of hitting a ball into a hole with a stick. #Golf #USOpen

I'll never have faith in humanity until people start understanding the spelling difference between "Lose" and "Loose"

Does anyone write stories and post them on OF? Is that a terrible idea? Please tell me that's a terrible idea. #OnlyFans #Writing #Novels #Stories

Spent about 20 minutes trying to figure out why my hose wasn't working only to learn that I'm an idiot. Godspeed soldier. #Gardening #Lawncare #Landscaping

Why didn't anyone tell me that writing books was so hard?

Might start a "shit the pants" fund or "shit the car" fund. I'll need to discuss it further with my financial advisor before making any serious investments.

Nearly 5 years ago, my wife started an STB fund and everyday, the fund goes up by $1. When this fund is cashed out, it will be a sad day because it means that one of us has done the unthinkable. It means that one of us has shitted the bed and now we need a new bed. #Fund #Savings #401k #STB

Job hunting is so demoralizing.

The Mazda Miata is the best car ever made and if you say it's too small, you're right, but also shut up.

Goodnight everyone
Pluto

Everyone talks about flamingos, but why doesn't anyone care when flamingstay?

How is a movie that's 90-100% CGI still considered "live action"? #Movies #CGi #Animation #Film

The relationship I have with my wife has been on the rocks ever since she told me I'm not allowed to own a banjo. We may need couples counseling.
#Couples #Marriage #Banjo

Been unemployed for 6 months today and here are 3 things I've heard a lot:

"Your house better be spotless"
"you ask for your job back?"
"Are you going to run out of money?"

Your job is not your life. If you lose your job, your life continues. Please remember this.
#unemployed #career #dontpanic

I took the weekend off from social media, writing, reading and basically everything else. Ended up spending my weekend hanging out with friends, going on dates with my wife and playing video games. It's crazy how something as simple as taking a weekend for myself feels like a vacation. Feeling good.

Bugs Bunny dressed as a lady in a red dress will return in #AvengersDoomsday

The Hamburglar will return for #AvengersDoomsday

Confirmed: Abraham Lincoln and the 1996 Harlem Globetrotters have been cast to appear in #AvengersDoomsday

The tomatoes are rising from their slumber. They're tiny, tiny little slumber. #Garden #Gardening #Tomato

Hey @barnesandnoble.com, could you, like, put a bag or something over the book when you ship it so it doesn't get damaged when the UPS guy inevitably chucks the box into my wet grass unprotected before a rainstorm? Thanks.

Finally get to read @sgj.bsky.social new book! Super excited to read something I'm sure is filled with good times all around and is in no way going to scar me for life. #Sarcasm #BookSky #Horror

So I decided to read "Tender is the Flesh" yesterday in one sitting. I'm just going to add that decision to my very long list of bad decisions I've made. #Books #BookSky #Horror

Federal Judge Blocks Iowa Law Restricting Sexually Explicit School Books (Gift Article) The ruling is a victory for the publishers and free speech advocates who challenged the law, but the judge’s decision is far from final.

Good news out of Iowa! Big thank you & congratulations to the advocates who worked on this! It is abundantly clear these bans are unconstitutional, but that won't stop them from trying. We need to be just as organized & just as relentless. Good job team!

French radishes busted through the dirt like zombies from the grave. Kinda metal if you think about it. #Gardening #RavishingRaddishes #Dirt