Judge is saying “I can’t give what the plaintiffs seek.” Practically, this is the judge saying “I’m not touching this. Ask the court of appeals if I can order the Secretary of State to defy the Feds.”

The cool kids don't make you sign an NDA to attend their rager

Another problem: politics is a popularity contest; these justices are not popular

It looks like the agent who shot the man saw that the gun was gone before he shot

'Seven Samurai' (1954) dir: Akira Kurosawa a thoughtful figure saying two or three samurai won't suffice.

tfw u need seven samurai

From this minister's op-ed: "People wanting to experience God are more likely to meet the Divine trying to shut down the Broadview, Illinois, ICE facility than we ever were in church...God does not live in our houses of worship, but...with those who are bearing the brunt of cruelty in this moment."

Kinda weird he would post this about himself

🚫 NO DMS 🚫 NO CRYPTO 🚫 NO TELLING ME THAT SOMETHING IS "BOFA" 🚫 NO SLEIGHT OF HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH YOU HAVE PULLED A QUARTER OUT OF MY EAR 🚫 NO PRETENDING TO HAVE "GOTTEN MY NOSE" 🚫 NO ASKING ME "PETE AND RE-PEAT WERE IN A BOAT, PETE FELL OUT, WHO WAS LEFT" 🚫

I love that one possible reading of “just by reading this, I think you’re gay” is that reading his long, gossipy message makes you gay

Social media lets us see more of people’s thoughts. Thoughts that seem abnormal. Turns out we all are a little Dale Gribble

guy in 3000 bc: remember when tools were made of stone 🪨 now every thing is bronze 😡 we used to live in cave ⛰️ now we sleep in hut 😪 instead of hunting ox 🐮 we make them pull plow 🌾 who else wish we could go back 😩

Tony Soprano: I’m stressed out of my mind, I gotta see a psychiatrist.

No one: Maybe cut back on drinking and cigars?

Tony: I’m gonna cheat of my wife

It’s him but centel is the parody account

Dodgers broadcast was discussing the science behind the perception of time between children and adults. After hearing the explanation, the color commentator pauses and asks, "Am I gonna feel any better?"

Andy Pages then smashes a dinger into space, thus ending the existential crisis on commentary.

The words at the bottom indicate this is through 2020. When did the recording stop? I would expect the trends to rebound after Covid, but with continued decline

To love well is to condemn myself everyday to care for the least of these.

Back in my day, when you heard the word pot, you immediately thought roast. Now kids hear pot and think smoking. It’s an epidemic! To solve America’s problems people need to think about roasts more

What did the University of Pennsylvania Zoologist, who is into crafts, ask the other University of Pennsylvania Zoologist who is into crafts?

Knit any lions?

Yesterday, a dog pooped the floor in Costco. It was massive. It stank.

So I gotta give the double chunk chocolate dookie a doom.