sarsar 🫒⭕️🍉

The bad news is Im stressed to the max about navigating IVF planning, the good news is I'm only $450 away from hitting my deductible

Sober for 6 months. Still feel like ass. I feel like I’ve been lied too.

Welp plane tickets are booked, seeing Phish in July. I’m going going back back to SPAC

I’m begging for rain so I don’t have to hike for team building. Please god send in the rain!!!

My dad always asks me for Mother’s Day gift ideas so I’ve gotta give him all of mine and I’m left with nothing 😅 I guess it’s worth it to keep him in good graces with her.

May 4th is not star wars day it’s MY birthday and y’all can’t have it.

I need a glow up and a beach vacation.

Im subjecting myself to mental pain by tuning into the Ethan and Hasan debate but here we go

Not me getting mad at TLOU spoilers when I already know the story line

I finished the second season of Severance and I am PISSED

Welp, BD released their price increases due to tariffs, 10-25%. Who’s next??

You ever get chills in your nipples?

Best buds (within a certain distance cause Willow isn’t a dogs dog)

I’m so tired but what a great lady’s ski day.

Lyric card for "Your Horoscope For Today" by "Weird Al" Yankovic with the lyrics: "Taurus! You will never find true happiness What you gonna do, cry about it?"

Weird Al was real asf for this

First time in a long time I've had missionaries come to my door. Bros, I've got a no soliciting sign, get a clue.

Bad: my dog was attacked by the dog I am sitting
Good: dog was moved to a relatives house, I finished our taxes, and my husband made me nachos

I think screens broke my vision. When I look at my computer, it’s not blurry but I can’t see anything. My vision won’t focus anymore, everything mashes together. Also they wanna “cross” to relax.

It seems all I needed was a nicotine patch to fix everything.

I think it’s time to buy some tits. Or adopt a cat.

Hot take the new season of severance sucks ass.

Damn, it’s sad never getting any notifications.

I’m really close to smoking a spliff the stress might break my 4 month sobriety.

SOS please send vapes

I quit tobacco but picked up a vaping habit but now they are banned in Utah and I’m actually panicking.

I really need the next season of Resident Alien to come out soon

I bought a new, fairly fancy, office chair so my ass wouldn’t hurt so much but surprise surprise my ass still hurts.

Getting an email in broken english from a French coworkers feel like I’m solving the Da Vinci code. Girl just write in French!!

Get it off my desk. GET IT OFF MY DESK

I’m never going into the office again!

*mandatory 3 office days a week*